These wounds don't seam to heal
by DeliriousExpectations
Summary: Edward leaves in New Moon, Bella goes to the meadow and is bitten. She lives a lonely life, until fifty years later history repeats itself. ExB, AU, possible lemons later on. First story, pleeeeeease R
1. Chapter 1

_"Simply mouth-watering"_ Laurent's words swam in my head as terror finally set in. His threateningly beautiful face was mere millimetres from mine. He inhaled deeply as he leaned in; his head inclining as if he were to kiss me. I felt the tears pool behind my lids._ It's finally over. All the pain... over._

His razor sharp teeth punctured my skin like a knife would penetrate a sheet of paper. I felt my face distort in pain and heard the soft murmur of agony escape my lips as the fire seeped into my blood stream.

Then he pulled away. I opened my eyes in shock, my hand clamping to the bloody wound on my neck. Laurent's face was shocked, staring out into the forest.

"It can't be..."

I heard no more, the pain took me then and I passed out.

* * *

I lay on my mattress, pretending to sleep. The whole act of being human was tedious, especially at night when I had nothing to distract me from...them. I cringed to myself, and rolled over to check the time. 5:01 am; early, but acceptable. I stood and left my bedroom and entered the lounge in my pyjamas. I looked around the small room, it was undeniably a tip. I rolled my eyes as I quickly set about tidying; sticking to human speed and over thinking every activity to keep my mind of...them.

The apartment was silent; except for the rumbling snore that came from Matthias's bedroom.

_Lucky Matt,_ I thought, _what I'd give to be able to sleep away my troubles._

_My troubles. How ridiculous! It's been fifty-three years! They don't care, Bella, get over it!_

My self-scolding was interrupted by a rather loud grunt from Matt's room, cracking a small smile across my face. Admittedly living with a human had eased the pain; my life seemed more realistic with Matt and his student loan and inability to clean.

I picked up a plate and walked over to the tiny excuse for a kitchen to wash it. I was nearly done now, and my human speed at spread the task over nearly two hours, so i returned to my bedroom and gathered clean clothes before heading off to the bathroom for a shower.

The hot water dripped pathetically from the showerhead, doing its darndest to relief my stress. After the last soap suds were out of my hair, I towelled myself dry and got dressed.

"Matt," I called as I left the bathroom "you're gunna be late for class if you don't get up now." I walked to the kitchen and got out a bowl and filled it with cereal for him; I would tell him I'd already eaten as I did every other day.

He stumbled out of his room a few minute later, looking more than a little sleep deprived. His eyes brightened considerably when he spied his breakfast. "Bella you are an absolute angel, you know that right?"

I smirked "I've been told. I hope your planning on getting some sleep this year; you look terrible!"

"Well I was busy last night..." he trailed off as he hoisted himself onto the counter and began munching on his Cheerio's.

"Oh really?" I smiled broadly, his promiscuous ways never ceased to entertain me. "Who was it this time?"

"You won't know him."

"You still have to tell me."

"Why?"

"So I can spend all day googling him, of course!"

He laughed at me. "Well in that case, his name is Peter Fellows, and he's a plumber."

I snorted "A plumber?"

"It's okay; he's a hot plumber, not one of the overweight, balding ones. And anyway aren't you meant to be going to High School today?"

I sighed "I don't know why I have to, Matt. You're being ridiculous."

"Bella I agreed not to send you back to your parents on condition you got an education. I know you ran away for a reason, but your past is no excuse to through away your future."

I smiled briefly, Matt was under the impression that I had run away from my abusive parents in Alaska, and had agreed to let me live with him- under the understanding I would get an education and that is the police came looking, he knew nothing. The rest of the town was under impression I was Matt's younger sister.

"Fine; High School, I knew I shouldn't have moved in with a professor!"

"Well I'm glad you did, Bells. It's a lot nicer around here with you." I smiled, and I knew that I was truly lucky.

"Right, I'm gunna go dry my hair, you go shower and get ready. I'm surprised they've kept you on for this long, you're terrible!"

He grinned and slid of the counter. I turned and went back to my room to make myself look 

acceptable.

Sitting in front my mirror-letting the heat dry my chocolate brown hair-I once again reviewed my new appearance, although I guess it doesn't class as new after this long. My eyes were a light gold as always, rimmed with long black lashes. My inexplicably pale skin was blemish free, and the purple bruising beneath my eyes was near invisible. I found it easier to avoid suspicion if I fed every other day or so, keeping my eyes the same colour and the bags under them at bay. My lips were full and naturally stained a rosy pink, my cheekbones were pronounced yet subtle. Before my transformation- when I was with _him_- I always thought myself inadequate, I had to admit now that it was slightly ironic that now that he was gone I looked worthy of him.

_Stop thinking of him! Today's going to be hard enough without that too!_ I turned off the hairdryer and left my room.

I occupied myself by watching the news, until Matt finally emerged from his room wearing a shirt and tie with jeans and a leather jacket. With his black hair, dashing good looks and slight stubble, Matt always managed to make every girl in his class fall in love with him. He would always complain that it was not the boys chasing after him and leaving him love letters. I had been shocked at this until he reminded me he was only twenty-nine and that most of his college students were only a few years younger than him.

"Are you ready?" He beamed.

"Ugh, fine. Let's get this over with!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N hiii :) I forgot to do one of these for the first chapter coz I was in a rush, lol. So just ot make it clear Matt doesn't know about Bella. And this chapter is mega long. And I know nothing about the American education systym, so apoligies in advance for any mistakes. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter; it really made my day and I've had a pretty rough one... anyway on with chapter 2.**

Matt's Chevrolet drove through the familiar streets towards the school, and I felt the butterflies in my stomach start. This was all far too familiar. He pulled into the student car park after what seemed like only a few seconds and parked close to the office building.

"Okay, you ready?"

"Mmmhmm" It was difficult to talk as the feeling of déjà vu choked me.

"Okay, get going then. And don't worry Bells, everything will be fine." He mussed my hair reassuringly and I smiled.

"See you later Matt. I'm making spaghetti for tea."

With that I got out of the car and entered the office. It was a normal room, the walls painted a warm cream. A portly woman sat behind a counter that split the office into two -the 'visitor' area and the 'business' area.

"Hello dear, how can I help you?"

"Hi, I'm Isabella Corelli, I'm new." Matt and I had agreed it would be easier to enrol me with his last name, since I was his 'sister'.

"Ah Matthias's sister! Of course!" Great; I was already a topic of conversation, "here, this is a map of campus, and your timetable, and, oh what have I done with it! Oh wait, here it is. This is for your teachers to sign, bring it back to me at the end of the day." She smiled sweetly at me. "Oh and welcome to Forks High School, dear."

"Thanks"

I didn't need the map, navigating the hallways of the school was almost second nature, even after half a century. I arrived at biology before the bell and paused to compose myself before I entered the room. It was the same classroom I'd first spoken to _him _in.

There were only a few people in the room, and after the teacher had signed my piece of paper I walked straight to the back of the room, to the same desk I'd shared with _him._

Over the next few minutes the room filled up, many of the students eyed me suspiciously, but nobody made an effort to talk to me.

The lesson began, and the seat beside me was still empty. It was strange, but I felt disappointed, and I had no idea why.

"Mr Cullen you're late. The bell went_ eleven minutes ago._"

I looked up in shock, surely I'd imagined it; this was taking wishful thinking to a whole new level. But no, sure enough, there were two golden eyes staring back at mine.

"Sorry sir, my car broke down on the way to school."

"Well hurry up and sit down, you'll have to copy up from Miss Corelli."

The vampire traversed the room silently and sat down beside me, as the teacher carried on with the lesson. His eyes never left mine, even when he was sat beside me. _Say something! Say anything!_ But what?

"Car trouble?" my voice was too low for human ears, but I knew he heard it.

"Miss Corelli?" His voice was as low as mine, and equally saturated with disbelief.

We stared at each other for a moment. I couldn't believe this was happening. He was here, _they _were here.

"How are you, Jasper?"

He eyed me suspiciously "I'm fine. Now is it still Bella, or have you changed that too?"

"Yes it's still Bella."

"Then in that case, what are you doing here_ Bella?_" His voice surprised me, it sounded...angry.

"Well at the moment I'm taking notes on how the pancreas creates insulin. And why are you taking that tone with me!"

"Shock, maybe? Or maybe it's because your emotions are so...forceful. Your angry, I'm angry."

"Damn straight I'm angry! And I have every reason to be!"

His expression softened somewhat.

"Bella... we didn't want to leave. We really didn't. Edward only ever wanted to do the right thing by you."

That was the first time I'd heard his name in more than fifty years; all the walls and barriers I'd built against him were torn down in an instant, and the hole in my chest was suddenly back with a vengeance. Jasper's expression became worried.

"Bella? Are you okay?" he reached out to touch my arm, but then withdrew his hand at the last instant.

"I'm fine." I turned my attention back to my notes. "So what's wrong with your car?"

"Alice was driving. She had a vision, caused her to crash. By the time Edward could get inside her head she was thinking of other stuff; she refused to tell us what she saw. I guess I know what it was now..." He looked at me pointedly. "Anyway we had to wait for a mechanic to come tow the car away, and that made us late even though we ran," he paused for a moment before he continued, "So, how are you ... here?"

"Well your brilliant plan to protect me by leaving me to fend for myself backfired - who would've thunk it? Laurent came back for me about six months after you left. He had every intention of killing me, but he... stopped. I never did work out why. And when I woke up I was alone in the forest. I left, I'd never be able to live with myself if I hurt Charlie. I did try to find you all, despite the fact I was unwanted; I didn't care that you didn't love me anymore, I needed help. I couldn't find you, of course, so I just made my own way from there. I travelled a lot. I went to Asia, Europe, Africa, and South America. I considered Antarctica at one point, but there doesn't seem like theirs much to do except hunt penguins." My nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought of it.

Jasper was hanging on my every word, living my story with me.

"Then last January I finally got homesick, so I came back to Forks. I was working in Jessie's Diner down the road when I met Matt. He was charming and intelligent and hard-working, and human, of course. I told him I'd run away from home because my father beat me, and he offered me a place to stay. I would never have normally accepted, but I was desperate. The story is that I'm his little sister from Seattle, and that our parents died so I was sent to live with him."

I stopped, noticing for the first time the hurt in Jasper's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I decided to let it go; he was probably just feeling my emotions."

"So are all of you here then?"

"Yeah; it's the first time we've all lived in the same place at the same time since... since we left. Emmett and Rosalie went abroad, and the rest of us moved around a lot separately; Alice and I, Carlisle and Esme, and Edward... he would visit every now and then, or call but... Anyway, when Carlisle and Esme decided to come back to Forks, we all decided to join them. We all think of this as home really. Bella..."

"Yeah?"

"Well... you know this whole Edward thing? Do you... well what I mean to say is...would you ever... take him back?"

"Jasper..." my tone was exasperated, though it was silent to human ears "with Edward things are...complicated. He and I, what we had was... beautiful, and you know how I loved him. But it was so dysfunctional, deep down I knew it would never last. I let him go, because I loved him, and I always knew it made no sense for him to love me back. What he said to me in the forest that day just confirmed what I'd always known to be true, I didn't deserve him."

My eyes had fallen to the table while I spoke, to make it easier to say what I felt. Once I'd finished I looked up to see Jasper staring at me solemnly and if I didn't know any better I could have sworn there were tears in his eyes.

Just then the bell went, causing me to jump slightly.

"What lesson do you have next?" Jasper asked conversationally as I gathered my belongings.

"Umm... History, I think. Why?"

He smiled slyly "No reason", he replied. "Oh and Alice is waiting for you outside."

_I was wondering what that smell was..._

I walked out of the room after him, only to have the wind knocked out of me by what I could only assume was Alice Cullen.

"Bella Swan do you have any idea how much I've missed you!" she clung to me desperately, and I wrapped my arms around her in return, suddenly aware of how much I'd truly missed her.

"That's not her name anymore, Alice" said Jasper as he leaned against the door frame bearing a wide grin. Alice pulled away from me instantly, her dark gold eyes frowning at me. "What's he on about Bella... or not Bella?"

I rolled my eyes," I'm still _Bella. _It was just... prudent for me to change my last name; it makes more sense this way."

"Are you going to tell me the story behind this or not, Bella?"

"Well I would but I'll just have to repeat it for Emmett later. And plus I'm going to be late for class."

"She has History" interjected Jasper, his smile growing again.

"_Really!!_ Oh My God, Bella!! This is so exciting!!"

"Is anyone going to tell me what's so special about History?"

"Nope" they chorused. At that I groaned and bid them goodbye before heading across campus as fast as my feet could carry me and still look like a human.

When I arrived, the rest of the class was already seated, but the teacher was only just opening her briefcase. I wasn't too late then. I handed her my slip from the office and she promptly signed it and pointed me in the direction of the one spare desk.

I'm pretty sure that if my heart had been beating when I entered the room, what I saw now would have stopped it completely.

I walked slowly down the aisle and took my seat... beside Edward.

The lesson began and for the first ten minutes I took notes in silence, concentrating on the Wall Street Crash with all my might. But then the teacher, a flustered looking woman by the name of Mrs Hughes, announced she had left some sheets in her car and needed to go fetch them. The door was barely closed behind her before the chatter began.

"So you're the new girl." I looked up in surprise; the boy in front of me had turned in his seat to talk to me. _How brave..._

"Yeah... um hi. I'm Bella. Bella Corelli."

"Dylan Masters." he held out a hand to shake mine, doing so with what I imagined he thought was a 'firm grip'.

"So, you're Professor Corelli's little sister, right?"

I smiled "Why do I get the feeling that people have been expecting me?"

He smiled in return "Because we have. The Bad-Ass Professor's sister that no-one has ever heard of before shows up from Seattle. I won't be surprised if you end up in the town news letter."

I laughed nervously at how my older 'brother' was painted by the human boy. I was very conscious of Edward's eyes on me, listening to our conversation.

"Oh Cullen, are you coming on Friday?" I was shocked when Dylan said this to Edward; I turned my head to see his response.

"Yeah, I can't wait." His voice ripped though me like a knife.

"Cool. Oh and I spoke to Mandy, she says she can't come, so there's room for one more. Hey Bella, you wouldn't want to come would you?"

I looked back at Dylan confused "Umm where are we going?"

"There's a party down in Port Angeles, in one of the warehouses, a load of us are hiring a mini bus and heading down; do you want to come?"

_What the heck... _"Sure, I'd love to."

"Really?" It was Edward who spoke now he sounded almost...disapproving.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Well as I seem to remember, you don't like parties."

"Well as _I_ seem to remember, _you_ don't like any sort of social event. Except maybe prom..."

"I'm allowed to change aren't I?"

"If you are then I am too."

"Umm have you two met before?" Dylan looked confused at Edward's and mine heated exchange.

"Yeah, I used to live in Seattle remember, Dyl? We used to go to school together."

Dylan nodded to show he understood, but something about the way he looked at us told me he suspected there was more to our relationship than we let on.

At that moment Mrs Hughes re-entered the room with a pile of papers under her arm. The class fell silent as she began to hand out the sheets, and I leant my forehead on my fist, letting my hair block my view of Edward.

Mrs Hughes droned on for another half an hour about the Great Depression as the class took notes, every now and then I would sneak a look at Edward through the wall of my hair. He seemed to have his chair angled towards me slightly, as if he was watching me, though I never caught him in the act. I was probably imagining the angle of his chair; wishful thinking again.

The bell finally went and I sighed quietly; it was time for Math. Half a century had taught me a lot, but I was still stumped when it came to numbers. I slowly got up from my chair and gathered my belongings, acutely aware of the room emptying around me. I was last to leave the classroom, and when I did I was met my Alice once more. She was almost bouncing on the spot, a wide grin across her beautiful face. Her brother was already gone.

"So? Did you talk to him?"

"Why are you asking me? Surely you already saw it?" She rolled her eyes.

"I saw you yes, but I don't know what you said! You have to tell me everything!"

"Okay what's going on? Why are you so excited about this?"

"Well it's the first time you two have seen each other in over fifty years Bella! Do you really mean to tell me that you didn't say anything to him?"

We were outside now, walking towards the Math rooms. I sighed, exasperated, and recounted the conversation Edward and I had had in History. Her pale brow wrinkled and her eyebrows arched in distaste.

"Is that it?"

"Well... yeah, I guess, it is." I was a little confused at the harsh tone in her voice.

"Oh for Heaven's sake, Bella! What are we going to do with you two?"

"Alice there's nothing _to_ do. He's made it very clear in the past how he... feels about me." My arms lifted up automatically and folded across my chest.

Alice seemed a bit put out by my statement. Surely she'd known that already though?

"What are you doing?" she asked suddenly, looking pointedly at my folded arms as she opened the door to our classroom.

I cringed inwardly. "Sorry... old habits die hard." I unfolded my arms and dropped them to my sides. It made me a bit uncomfortable to walk that way, less secure.

"When did you pick that up?"

"I don't know... a few decades back." Alice frowned at my inadequate answer, but decided to let it go.

We sat at the back of the room and waited as it filled up slowly. "So anyways, are you going to tell me who did this or not?"

"Did what?"

"Changed you."

I sighed deeply. "Laurent." I felt Alice stiffen at my side. "A few months after you...left, I was out walking in the woods. He found me, and at first everything was normal... I remembered what he said about moving to Denali and stuff, so I thought it would be fine. And then I noticed his eyes...

"He told me he was on a mission for Victoria. It turns out she was bit peeved over the whole James incident" I laughed quietly before I continued "He was meant to see how difficult it would be for her to get to me. They didn't know that you had left... But anyway, when he found me he was thirsty. He bit me, and then... he left. I never worked out why he did that, but he left me there. The last thing I remember was him saying "It can't be" and backing away from me."

"What do you think it was?" Alice's voice was just a whisper.

I didn't answer, I couldn't. At the time, I'd thought that maybe he'd pulled away because they were back... The Cullen's. I'd hoped they'd come back to save me. But then I'd woken up, alone in the meadow, and I knew that it couldn't have been them. They wouldn't have cared, _he_ wouldn't have cared.

"You're doing it again Bella." I looked down and realised that I was holding myself together once more, my nails gripping my skin through my jumper.

"Why do you do that?"

"No reason. Like I said old habits..."

"Bella tell me-"

"Alice who's this?" asked a deep voice from behind me.

I turned slowly in my seat to face the source of the voice.

"Emmett we're in the middle of a conversation here, can't you sit somewhere else for today?"

Emmett ignored her chastising; staring at me in awe. "Bella..."

"Hey Emmett." My voice was just as quite as his. He sat at the desk in front of me, turning in his seat to talk to us.

"What are you...How are you... What the hell's going on?"

"Well, obviously, Bella is a v- one of us now," answered Alice before rolling her eyes at Emmett.

His eyes widened. "Since when?"

"About six months after you left," my voice surprised me by being both steady and strong.

"Is this why you totalled Edward's car this morning?" he looked at Alice, a small smile playing at his lips. Of course, Emmett would find Alice crashing terrifically amusing.

"Yep, I'm kinda hoping that my vision being Bella will be enough to redeem myself," we all laughed lightly as the teacher, a very short bald man, walked into the room with a briefcase.

"I'll be back in a moment" I whispered as I grabbed the slip of paper from my bag and went to speak to the man.

"Ah so you're Professor Corelli's sister. I'm Mr Douglas; it's good to meet you."

"Thanks." I smiled politely as he signed the piece of paper and handed it back to me.

"Corelli?" asked Emmett as I walked past him.

"Long story."

"We have time" whispered Alice as I sat down and Mr Douglas greeted the class.

"Uh-uh, I still don't understand this subject after nearly seventy years of it now, so I'm paying attention to the bald guy."

They both snickered at my comment while I attempted to follow what Mr Douglas was telling us.

**A/N right, that's chapter two done. Reviews please, they make me very happy. Oh and the italics are meant to be Bella's thoughts. I'm gunna try to update every day, but I might stop if I don't get reviews and stuff, lol. **

**See ya later alligators :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thank you for reviewing guys :), and sorry I didn't update yesterday I went to a party. Oh and just letting you know, Bella will have a power and it is a good one - well atleast I think it's good...**

**This chapter is kinda confusing and a little bit sad and angsty. Is angsty a word? Oh well, now it is. **

**Also I'm sorry about giving Jasper the last name Cullen instead of Hale, it just fitted the story better; if I said Mr Hale you would know it was him straight away and it would ruin the surprise. Anyway I'm getting distracted, on with the story...**

There were no vampires in my Spanish class, and I was thankful for that- I needed time to sift through all that had happened in the last few hours. Luckily my Spanish was near perfect due to my globe-trotting, so I didn't need to pay anywhere near as much attention as I had in Math. I was free so think about the reappearance of the Cullen's for the whole hour.

I started with Biology, and Jasper. I had never been that close to Jasper before they left. I was amazed how easily I had opened up to him. I had told him almost everything; where I'd been, how I'd changed, why I was back. I supposed it was due to his special talent; no doubt he'd been sending waves of honesty and openness my way during the whole conversation. And he had seemed glad to see me... odd, considering the last time I saw him he'd attempted to drink me blood. _He couldn't help it, Bella. You know what it's like._

Then there was Alice, and Emmett. There was no doubt in my mind that they had missed me, especially Alice - the way she had dismissed Emmett in Math proved it. And I had missed them too; Alice's bubbly personality and Emmett's brotherly protectiveness of me. But then my thoughts went to Edward and my left arm locked around me as I continued to take notes on the lesson. He had seemed so...different. He had acknowledged me, he had told Dylan that we knew each other from Seattle, but that was it. He hadn't mentioned our relationship at all. And he was _socialising._ I frowned as I thought of it. For over a hundred years he had played his part so perfectly. He knew it wasn't wise to be friends with humans, their blood would be a constant irritation. And he would more than likely grow attatched to them...

But the tone of his voice when I decided to go to that party had me confused. The disapproval in his velvet voice was thick- could he really not bare me being on the same mini-bus as him, or at the same party? And that was odd as well, him going to the party. What enjoyment could he possibly get out of it?

_He has to have a reason to go... and he has to have a reason to not want me there._ I knew quite a lot about these kinds of parties- though I had never been to one as a human, or a vampire for that matter. There would be music, dancing, alcohol, most likely drugs, and people often ended up leaving with someone they didn't arrive with. Or, in extreme cases, police were involved.

Music, he liked music, and dancing. But he could do that anytime. Alcohol and drugs were useless to us vampires; they just caused discomfort when we had to throw them back up later. So that left the only other thing I really knew about these parties, the sex aspect. Possible. Edward had told me he could find plenty of distractions when he left me. And I'd bet by bottom dollar that no girl in this school would refuse him. My eyes widened and I gasped. It made perfect sense, _this_ was why he had reacted strangely when I announced I would be going. He was seeing someone, or multiple someone's. Hadn't Dylan mentioned a girl named Mandy? Was she one of Edward's distractions?

The hole in my chest ripped open painfully as I realised it was true. Edward had moved on. I felt myself begin to fall to pieces._ Not here..._ my logic was still intact; I couldn't afford to have an emotional breakdown here.

"Miss" I called, in perfect Spanish, raising my hand to catch her attention.

"Yes, Bella?"

"May I be excused? I'm not feeling very well."

"Of course, dear. The bell will go in a minute, so you may as well take your things with you."

"Thank you."

I gathered my things and left, trying to ignore the puzzled looks I received for my wonderful linguistic skills.

I rushed down the hall and outside to get some fresh air, not stopping until I reached the woods on the other side of campus. I leant against a tall pine tree, attempting to steady my uneasy breathes, clutching desperately as my chest to hold myself together. A little cry of pain escaped my lips as I sunk to the forest floor, dry sobs wracking my chest.

_He's moved on..._

_You're not good enough, even like this..._

_He doesn't love you anymore..._

_He never did..._

_He never will..._

The pain lapped at me like waves against the shore. This was too much. I should never have come back to Forks. _What was I thinking?_

I cried out in anger, throwing myself of the ground and beginning to pace the small clearing.

"Bella?" I spun around, only to come face to face with the cause of my anguish.

_Edward._

"Bella, what are you doing out here?"

"Nothing." I said, brushing my damp hair from my face and picking up my coat and back from the branch I'd hung them from.

"It didn't look like nothing." I ignored him as I put on my coat and swung my bag over my shoulder.

"I'm going to lunch." He caught me as I tried to push past him. His hands were wrapped around my forearms, and part of me wished I hadn't put my coat on, so that I could feel his touch on my skin._ No! Don't __think like that, Bella. He's moved on._

"Bella, you don't eat. Lunch can wait. What's wrong, why are you so upset?'' The worry in his voice caused me to look up. Our eyes met.

"Nothing," I whispered again "I'm fine." I glared icily at him, I couldn't afford to let him past the barriers I'd put up over the last fifty years. I wouldn't.

I pulled away from his grip and walked around him, back towards the school. I didn't dare look back, though I could feel his eyes on the back of my head. I entered the canteen, and Alice rushed over to me at once.

"Bella where on earth have you been! I went to meet you after Spanish but you weren't there, I was just beginning to worry about you!"

"Beginning?" asked Emmett, his voice thick with disbelief. "You started worrying about ten minutes ago Alice."

She gave him a scathing look as we sat down at the table where Jasper and Rosalie already sat. Emmett wrapped his arm around Rosalie and kissed her on the cheek as he sat, Alice took Jasper's hand. I smiled nervously as I sat beside Alice, waiting for the onslaught to begin.

But it didn't. I looked around curiously, they all stared back at me. Emmett's grin was broad across his face, Rosalie smiled tentatively at me, Jasper smirked and send a calming wave of emotion toward Alice, who was almost jumping out of her seat with excitement.

A few moments later, Edward arrived. He sat beside Emmett, directly opposite me, and I tried my best not to think about our encounter in the woods.

"Okay, Edward's here. You can tell us now," said Emmett, his grin spreading impossibly wide across his face.

"Tell you what?" I asked, slightly confused.

"How did this happen?" He asked impatiently.

"Where have you been?" Asked Alice excitedly.

"Who did this to you?" Curiosity seemed to ooze from Rosalie's perfect features.

"Why didn't you try to find us?" Edward's voice was quite, and hurt.

I inhaled deeply before I began. I explained about Laurent in the woods again, about my travelling, and how I had found Matt last spring.

"I was working in a Diner in town, and he would come in every day for breakfast. We got to talking, and after a few weeks he offered me a place to stay. We told everyone I'm his younger sister, to keep the stories at bay, you know?"

I stopped talking and looked at their faces, they all looked strangely crestfallen. Did they feel guilty for leaving me? Was that why they were sad?

"What?"

"Nothing" answered Alice, who looked positively heartbroken. All of a sudden Edward rose from his seat and walked straight out of the Cafeteria without a backward glance.

"What's wrong with Edward?" I couldn't hide the worry in my voice. Everyone seemed to be avoiding my gaze.

"It's nothing Bella; it's just... hard for him." Alice stared down at the table while she spoke.

"What is?"

"You being with someone else."

"What?!"

"Bella, Edward wants you to be happy, but it's going to take a while for him to accept you're with someone else other than him." Jasper was the only one to look me in the eye.

"But... I'm not with anyone else!"

"What?" All four of them stared at me.

"But you said that you and this Matt guy lived together, and you're using his last name but telling people you're his sister to avoid suspicion."

"Yeah, and that's exactly as it is. Matt is twenty-nine, guys! Either way you look at it, one of us is too old for the other. And also, I'm _really_ not his type."

"What do you mean, not his type?" Rosalie sounded almost offended by this; like someone not being interested in my was just pure slander.

"He's _gay, _Rose."

Each of the Cullen's stared at me, their mouths dropping to make 'o' shapes.

"Bella, you need to go tell Edward," Jasper's voice was quiet and subdued. "He's feeling... I don't even know anymore, it's too big whatever it is."

I was confused, _what does it matter to Edward if I'm with someone or not?_ But I got up anyway and left the cafeteria.

I stood out in the rain and inhaled deeply. I knew his smell; I'd been breathing it in for an hour in history, and again in the cafeteria with the rest of his family. I could identify each of them easily now. I closed my eyes and focused on the smells around me; the rain, the concrete, the woods, the other four Cullen's in the canteen, hundreds of humans. _Where are you?_

And then I found it, I turned in the direction of the scent and opened my eyes. The trees. I ran at human speed until I was safely under the cover of the Forest, then I began to quicken my pace until I was running flat out, all the time following his scent.

I hadn't gone far when I found him. He was sitting on a boulder, his head dipped, facing away from me. I walked up to him silently and waited, unsure what to do next.

"Why did you follow me Bella?"

"Edward... what I said earlier, I think you misunderstood."

"Oh really?" His voice was pained.

"Yes." I walked around until I was in front of him and crouched down to the same level as him.

"So you're not living with another man then?"

"Well, I am, but... we're not together. We're not a couple, Edward. In fact the thought of me and Matt together is mildly repulsive."

He looked up at me, his golden eyes staring into mine. "I don't understand."

"Matt's gay, Edward. There is no chance of anything happening with me and him."

"Really?"

"Really. Now get up, or I'm going to be late for gym."

He smirked as he got up, and we ran together back to the school.

The rest of the Cullen's were waiting for us at the edge of the trees, Alice with my coat and bag. I noticed they all looked cautiously optimistic, until Edward and I emerged from the trees a good ten feet apart and didn't make eye contact as we approached them.

"Here's your stuff, Bells" Alice handed me my things and I thanked her. No one said anything for a moment or two, the atmosphere strangely awkward. I wondered briefly why Jasper didn't do anything to remove the tension, but then the bell went, signalling the end of lunch and we all turned and walked to the gym in silence.

When we entered the gym, the boys went into their changing rooms, while Alice and Rosalie waited for me to get my slip signed by the Coach.

"So what happened?" asked Alice as we entered the female changing rooms, me clutching my new kit under my arm.

"When?"

"When you went to find Edward!" Rosalie rolled her eyes at Alice.

"Alice, you know it's none of our business."

"It is so our business Rose!" I laughed at the mortified look on Alice's face.

"Alice nothing happened. I found him, I told him he'd misunderstood and we came back."

"Seriously? That's all?" It was Rosalie's turn to look mortified now.

"Well yeah, I mean what else is there?" I enquired as I removed my wet jeans and pulled on the sweatpants the coach had just given me. I'd tried to do it as fast as possible, but apparently it wasn't fast enough. Rosalie and Alice both gasped in shock, and I cringed at what I knew they had seen on my legs.

Bite marks.

"Bella..."

At that moment there were voices room outside and more girls entered the changing rooms. Thankful for the distraction, I quickly finished changing and stuffed my belongings into a locker before leaving the changing rooms.

I waited in the hallway for the rest of the class to change, resting my head against the wall. I heard a creek as a door opened and looked up to see Edward exiting the boy's changing rooms. I smiled politely, but then frowned when I realised he was glaring at me.

"What's wrong?" He was standing in front of me now; I'd never seen him look so angry, especially with me.

"Bella... when I left you, I remember you promising me you wouldn't do anything stupid or reckless." He spoke through gritted teeth, is voice too low for human ears.

I froze, fighting the urge to wrap my arm around my torso at the painful reminder.

"Excuse me?"

"Bella how could you do this!"

His face flickered for a minute to a hurt expression, but then the cold glare was back and I had to look away. Another door creaked, signalling the arrival of Alice and Rosalie. The two of them took in mine and Edward's aggressive stances, the way he leaned over me, the angry glares set across our faces.

"Guys, I think we should settle this later. The humans are coming." Alice spoke calmly before reaching forward and taking my arm, pulling me away from Edward.

Then the doors opened and we were joined by Emmett, Jasper and twenty or so human teenagers.

"Okay guys" called the coach "today we're starting athletics. This week we're just gunna do some laps to start with and then some long jump later on." There were a few groans of disapproval from the crowd, but we all followed the coach outside none the less to the track.

"Okay I want two laps of everyone, and then get going with your stretches."

I moved away from Alice's side and began to jog at a human pace around the track. I soon got bored with the mundane speed and kicked it up a gear, but still keeping it to a human ability. All I could think about was what Edward had said, who was he to call me stupid? Who was the one who lost everything she had ever cared about? He didn't know what I'd been through! First with them leaving me, then Jake shunning me because I was unable to love him the way he loved me, then Laurent and the meadow, the trauma of that alone was enough, and then Charlie's death... He'd worked himself to death looking for me once I'd disappeared. I hadn't even been able to go to his funeral because of what I'd become.

Another wave of anger washed over me as the wind blew from behind me and I caught his wonderfully sweet scent. I sped up again as I finished my first lap, leaving the humans panting in my wake.

I finished my second lap and began doing unnecessary stretches as I waited for the rest of the class. The Cullen's had gone a lot slower than me, probably in an attempt to fit in, and when they finally crossed the finishing line a good five people after me they made a big show of being worn out, panting as they stretched. I rolled my eyes in their direction as the Coach walked up to me.

"Corelli?"

"Yes coach?"

"Did you run in Seattle?"

"Sorry?"

"Did you do track at your school?"

"Oh. No, we were in the city; there was no space for one."

"Huh. Well anyways I want you to try out for the school athletics team; that was a very impressive run you just did."

"Okay, thanks. When are try outs?"

"Next Wednesday, lunch time. See you there," He turned away from me towards the rest of the class. "Okay, now everyone get your breath back and we'll do some relays."

"Well that was somewhat less than discreet." said Alice's voice at my side.

"I guess I got a little carried away. I had a lot on my mind."

I met Alice's disapproving eyes and smiled. Who cares if she approves or not?

The rest of the lesson went by quickly and I changed as fast as I could so that there was little opportunity for conversation with Alice and Rosalie.

Five minutes later I was walking through the school car park towards the street. I would have to walk home, as Matt would be in work until gone five and not home until six at the earliest. I'd told him that I honestly didn't mind the one and a half mile walk, which was true. Especially today; I had to think.

By now Emmett and Jasper would know about my scars, I was sure. I felt like kicking myself for being so stupid. Why on earth did I let them see my scars?

The coach had said to me that I could sit today out, but I had carried on anyway; anxious to show off my non-existent balance issues to the Cullen's. But I still could've hidden my scars. It would've been easy!

I walked at human speed through the streets of Forks until I reached the semi-dethatched house that had been converted into two separate flats. I looked at my home for a moment before ascending the small flight of stairs outside and proceeding to my first floor apartment.

I went straight to my bedroom and stood in front of my full-length mirror. Slowly, never breaking eye contact with my reflection, I stripped down to my bra and pants and looked at the damage. My pale legs were criss-crossed with fifty years worth of scars. Each one a self inflicted reminder of my pain. My torso and arms were free of the scars; I hadn't been able to bend my neck to reach my stomach and didn't want to bite my arms for appearance's sake. Though I could easily hide the marks.

I looked down at the reflection of my legs and concentrated on them. Before my eyes, the scars faded leaving silky smooth, milky white skin behind it. They would be like that now until I imagined them otherwise; I could easily keep them hidden all the time, but I wanted to remind myself of the pain I had been through. I looked back at my face and concentrated again. My hair turned a violent shade of pink, before mellowing to a pale lilac colour. It curled and twisted and grew at my command as my irises flickered through every colour imaginable and my facial structure altered itself time and time again. After a few moments of this I sighed and returned to my natural appearance and got dressed.

I wasn't sure, but I thought that my ability to change my appearance came from my human desire to fit in, and then form my desire to change who I was in the last few months of my human life. I smiled darkly as I thought of that. I would do anything to be human Bella again; I would even take all the pain and heartache that came with it. But I have to admit my littel talent had made life easier for me, even if I was only using it for entertainment.

I finished cooking Matt's dinner and put it in the microwave for him, waiting. Then I looked at the clock, it was only just turning five now, he would be out for at least another hour.

While I pondered what to do until he arrived, there was a loud rapping on the door. I jumped slightly before crossing the apartment to open the door. There in front of me where all seven of the Cullen's.

I felt my mouth drop at the sight of them. "How did you-" I was cut off by Esme running forward and embracing me. It seemed odd for her; she had always been so calm and subdued.

"Oh Bella! I can't believe this! You're really here. I thought we'd lost you forever!"

I hugged her back for a moment until she released her hold on me.

"Bella." Carlisle stepped forward and put a fatherly hand on my shoulder and stared deep into my eyes, a smile playing across his lips, before he embraced me as his wife had. "It's good to see you."

I smiled at him when he released me, standing aside so they could enter. I was thankful that I'd cleaned the apartment this morning, though still a little embarrassed of how my home compared to theirs. I motioned for them all to sit down, though it was quite difficult for all eight of us. Alice, Esme and Rosalie squeezed onto the loveseat, with Jasper and Emmett perched on the arms. Carlisle sat in the arm chair, and Edward remained standing behind the sofa, his arms folded across his body.

I sat on the edge of the coffee table and looked at them all, unsure what to say.

"Bella...we need to talk to you." I looked at Carlisle when he spoke, slightly confused by his words.

"About what?"

"About what we saw on your legs in gym earlier" said Alice, her voice no more than a whisper.

For a moment I was petrified, what could I say? _Dammit, what do I do now?_ Thanking my lucky stars that I'd hidden the evidence of my unhealthy habit not half an hour ago, I decided to go with the easiest option. Denial.

"What do you mean?"

"The scars on your leg Bella, we know what you've been doing."

I let confusion take over my face. "I _really _don't have any idea what you're talking about."

"Bella," Esme leaned forward and took my hands as she spoke "we want to help you. What you're doing to yourself is not healthy."

"I'm not doing anything. Look I'll prove it." With that I released Esme's hands and rolled up the legs of my jeans, revealing the hard and blemish free skin of my shins.

"See, there's nothing there."

"So you haven't been biting yourself?" Carlisle's voice was calm, but there was confusion buried underneath.

"What? You think I've been biting myself? Is that what this is about?"

They all seemed a little embarrassed.

"But we saw them. We saw the marks on your legs and before we could say anything you'd bolted." Rosalie said.

"I bolted because you were going to give me a lecture about... what happened at lunch and I couldn't be bothered with it." I didn't really want to say they were giving me a lecture about Edward, and I hoped that my pause hadn't made it to obvious I was lying.

"But I saw it in their heads! There were scars all down your legs, Bella!" Edward had stormed around the edge of the sofa to stand next to me.

"Well obviously you were wrong, weren't you? I already showed you proof!"

"Then explain how both Alice _and_ Rosalie saw the exact same image of you covered in scars."

"I DON'T KNOW EDWARD! Why don't _you_ explain why you started shouting at me outside the changing rooms! Why don't _you_ explain why you don't want me to go to Port Angeles on Friday! Why don't _you_ explain why you can't handle me living with another man unless he's GAY! Why don't _you_ explain how you think its fine to just show up at my home and start the Spanish inquisition! Why don't_ you_ explain why you even CARE! Because I remember you stating quite clearly that you don't care about me!" I was on my feet now, glaring at him with all my might.

"Guys, let's go wait in the car." Carlisle's voice was calm and full of authority as he stood and went to the door. The rest of the family followed him, leaving Edward and I alone. As the door closed behind Emmett, Edward turned swiftly away from me and started pacing. I sat down on the how empty loveseat and continued to glare at him.

"I'm waiting."

He turned on his heel and sat down on the coffee table in front of me, leaning forward. "Okay, the changing rooms. I was angry because... do you remember the promise I made you make when I left you?" I nodded as I surreptitiously wrapped my arm around myself. "Well when I saw the scars in my sister's minds, I could only think of two possible causes. One, you had been fighting with other vampires, badly, and therefore been reckless. Or two, you did it to yourself, that you were doing it because you were depressed, which would be the...stupid option."

"Self-harm is not stupid Edward. People do it because they're hurting and the emotional pain gets too much so they need to let it out physically." The words came out of my teeth before I could stop them. I felt his eyes on me though I refused to meet his gaze.

"Bella you didn't...when you were human I mean, you didn't hurt yourself...did you?" He moved his head lower, trying to force my eyes to meet his, but I stubbornly turned my face away and looked at the wall.

He sighed sadly "Oh Bella..."

"Answer the other questions" I said stubbornly.

"Okay. What was it next? Port Angeles and your roommate, right? Well I guess I don't want you at the party because... I don't know how to explain it."

"You don't need to; I actmually already worked this one out."

"Oh?"

"You don't want me there, interrupting your...distractions." I choked a little on the last word.

"Distractions?"

"When you left you said that there would be plenty of distractions to occupy your time when I wasn't there."

"Oh. Oh Bella no, oh that's not it at all." I looked up, finally meeting his gaze.

"I don't want you there because of the sheer number of boys that will be at this party!"

"I think I'd be able to defend myself is someone got too eager, Edward."

"I know that, I was worried that maybe you would want them back... I wouldn't be able to bare that. Neither would I be able to bare you living with another man."

I looked at him, shocked. _So he's allowed to move on, but I'm not?_

"And as for the Spanish inquisition, as you called it, well... I was frightened. I couldn't bear to think of you hurting yourself, especially because of me."

"What does it matter to you? Why would you care if I lived or died, or weather I was happy, or sad, or hurt?" My voice was broke several times as I spoke, I was sure that if I was human I would be in tears.

I sniffed away the imaginary tears as he stared at me, and that's when I caught Matt's scent. My eyes shot to the clock on the stove, it was almost half six. Matt's car would be pulling into the drive at any moment.

"I'd appreciate it if you left now. I don't want Matt to meet you." I looked into his beautiful eyes, they seemed hurt by my words, but he was gone instantly. I sighed and leant my head in my hands. A few moments later the door opened and Matt entered the room.

"Hey Bella, how was school?"

"Good" I said, looking up "Not as bad as I thought it would be." He assessed my posture and mood.

"Uh-huh, then why do I get the impression you're upset about something?"

"I'm just tired" I answered with a forced smile. But he still eyed me suspiciously so I tried to distract him.

"Dinner's in the microwave. I got hungry so I already ate mine. Sorry."

He smiled as he walked to the kitchen and began heating up his food.

A few hours later, at a time I deemed acceptable to go to bed, I bid him goodnight and went to the sanctuary of my room. As I closed the door behind me, a wonderfully sweet scent hit my nose that I now realised had been there all evening but I just hadn't noticed.

"What are you doing here, Edward?"

He stepped out of the shadows and I flicked on the light switch- though neither of us really needed it.

"I wasn't finished talking to you, and it can't wait until tomorrow." I sighed and walked over to by bed, sitting cross-legged in the middle of it.

"Fine, let's talk."

He walked forward and then crouched down to my eye-level, the same way I had done in the woods earlier.

"Bella... I know what I saw. And we both know it's impossible for Alice and Rosalie to have imagined exactly the same thing at exactly the same moment in time. I need to know what's going on."

I gulped, damn his overly perceptive ways!

"I really have no idea Edward; it makes no sense to me either. And I think we both know that nothing is impossible. Otherwise we wouldn't be here, would we?" I smiled weakly, but his face was still set in a frown."Is that all you wanted to talk to me about? Coz I really should be getting to sleep."

He growled quietly before shaking his head with disappointment and jumping out my window.

I sighed after him before changing into my pyjamas and lying down on the mattress. in some ways my life had been easier before Matt; I hadn't had to make a big show of sleeping at night for a start. When I had moved in he had insisted on buying me all the human necessities; a bed, an extinctive wardrobe that would make Alice proud of me and what looked like a year's supply of Tampax. I hated having money spend on me, especially on things I would never use, although I had to admit the clothes were necessary.

I'd picked up my habit of 'sleeping' when Matt purchased the bed for me. It wasn't really sleeping, that was impossible for my kind of course. Instead I would lie down, close my eyes and think back to the happiest days of my life. Those golden days that had ended with my eighteenth birthday.

**A/N right thats chapter three down. I know its getting a bit morbid, and I apoligise but after all that Bella has been through to we really expect her to be running around handing out sunflowers whilst singing 'tomorrow' from annie? No. No we don't.**

**Reviews please :) and I might add chapter four tonight as I didn't update yesterday.**

**love**

**Sasha :) xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N sorry, this one is _mega_ short. It's kinda just to fill the gap between the first day and the party. Enjoy :)**

It was lunchtime again. The slow Thursday morning had dragged, but it was almost worth it to spend this happy hour with all of the Cullen's. We were all happy and laughing... except for Edward. He hadn't spoken to me since Monday evening. Since none of the other Cullen's mentioned it I decided that it was all in the past. I sat between Alice and Emmett, while Edward stared with dead eyes at us from across the table beside Rosalie. Jasper shot him worried looks every now and then, between arm wrestling matches with Emmett. I laughed along with the group though I was worried about Edward. Every now and then Jasper would send a wave of reassurance my way and I would smile my thanks.

Eventually the bell rang, signalling it was time for History. We all rose and went our separate ways at the exit to the canteen; Alice and Rosalie going Literature & Arts, Jasper and Emmett headed to their French class. Edward and I walked in silence to our History class, arriving long before anyone else. We sat and I got my homework out of my bag ready.

Edward's silence was beginning to annoy me, he couldn't possibly be this angry with me! I began to tap my pen on the table loudly, avoiding his icy glare.

"Do you have any idea how annoying that is, Bella?"

"Yep."

There was no noise for a moment or two except my incessant pen tapping.

"So are you still going tomorrow night?"

"That depends. Do you still not want me to?"

"Of course."

"Then I'm going."

A low growl erupted from him, which I answered with a high-pitched hiss.

"I don't see why you're so strongly opposed to me going, I won't be anywhere near you."

"If anything you being further away would make me feel worse. I wouldn't be able to keep watch on you; I'm only trying to protect your virtue here Bella."

I snorted. "Believe me Edward; my virtue went down the drain a long time ago."

Before he could respond the door opened and more students began filing in.

The room was stuffy today, even to me. I couldn't even imagine how horrible it would be for the humans. And the monotonous tone of Mrs Hughes couldn't be helping to keep them conscious. I heard the heart rates of the humans in the room dip dangerously low close to the end of the lesson, and I was thankful when the bell finally went. I rose from me seat and was out the door before anybody else. I left the building at human speed, breathing in the cool air of Forks. My brow furrowed at the wind; it didn't taste right. It tasted bitter. Intrigued, I followed the foul scent around the corner of the building to the car park and stopped dead in my tracks, my jaw dropping.

He had barely aged a day...

"Jacob?"

Jacob looked up at me and smiled broadly. Without thinking I ran up to him and embraced him.

"So it's true, the prodigal daughter had returned. Or should I say prodigal _vampire." _He whispered into my hair.

I froze and pulled back, vaguely aware of how wide my eyes were.

"Relax Bella; I'm not gunna out you. I've known all along. Oh I nearly forgot, Bella, this is my daughter, Izzy." He moved back to reveal a young girl of about sixteen. She was the spitting image of him. My jaw dropped a second time as I took Izzy's hand and shook it briefly. I noticed two motorbikes parked beside them. Our motorbikes...

"I think we have some catching up to do."

**A/N Yayyy Jacob. Don't get me wrong I am totally team Edward, but really Bella would never've gotten any better without Jake. Even if he was a bit too touchy-feely; what's with all the hand holding, Jacob?**

**Anyway, I heart Jacob Black, and I couldn't not give him a happy ending, so I have. Yay. Next chapter will be up tomorrow and it'll be Jake filled, good times everyone :)**

**And also, nobody worry. Their is _plenty_ of Edward coming up in the next few chapters. I know he's not really been in the story that much yet but there's only so many awkward conversations I can write for Pete's sake!**

**lots of love**

**Sasha :) xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N hiiiiiiii :) this is the jacob chapter - as promised. He might be in the story later on, I'm not sure...**

We sat in one of the booths of the diner I had once worked in before I'd found Matt. Jake and Izzy were eating banana splits while I tried not to wrinkle my nose at their food.

"So how do you know about me?"

Jake pushed his empty bowl away before he began. "Okay well here goes... promise not to freak out, okay?"

"Okay."

"Well before you were changed by that leech, when I started avoiding you... no wait, I have to go back further than that. Do you remember when we first met? The stories I told you."

"Not really... I lost most of my human memories when I changed."

"Hmm... that doesn't help. Well I told you the stories of the Quileute's, where we came from and stuff. We - the Quileute's- are descended from wolves. We used to be what the humans call werewolves, I suppose. Eventually we evolved and the pack almost disappeared... until the Cullen's came back. We're the natural enemy to vampires."

"Wait. Are you telling me what I think you're telling me?"

"Dad you really aren't explaining this well, y'know?" Said Izzy with a smile. Jake rolled his eyes at her and reached into his pocket.

"Izz, here's five dollars, go get some cokes, just two though." He smiled at me.

"So that's why you were avoiding me. You thought I would take the Cullen's side?"

"No, no of course not Bells. I was avoiding you because... it was too dangerous. I could've easily hurt you if I lost my temper. And plus Sam was in charge then, when the Alpha gives an order you can't just ignore it. Makes parenting a hell of a lot easier, I'll tell you that." He smiled at his daughter as she sat back down with the drinks and nudged him playfully. All of a sudden, three things fell into place.

1) Sam Uley's gang that had scared Jake all those years ago was in fact a werewolf pack.

2) Sam had been the alpha in the past, but wasn't now. Jake had replaced him.

3) Jake had said that the Alpha's power made parenting easier for him, which must mean that his daughter couldn't ignore his orders because _she _was a werewolf too!

Jake stared at my shocked face. "You just put it all together didn't you?"

I nodded, suddenly unable to speak. I looked at the girl across the table from me, she looked so _young!_ Impossibly young, and yet she was caught up in the same world of myth and mystery as I was.

"Jake... you were the ones that scared away Laurent weren't you?" He nodded solomnly.

"I knew we were too late, but I couldn't let him kill you. It was too much, you were like my sister. You still are."

I smiled lovingly at him, happy that he was over his old crush.

"Tell me everything. Everything that happened since I've been gone."

"Well at first life was hell. Charlie couldn't accept you were gone. Billy and I tried to stop him, to help him but he kept looking for you until he... well, you know what happened... After that life got back to normal- if it ever is normal. I met Izzy's mother, Christina, and imprinted on her. Oh right, you don't know what that means. Imprinting is like... how we find our mates, our soul mates. Anyway we got married twenty years ago now, and we had our first kid two years later, Billy. Then we had this one here" He ruffled Izzy's hair playfully "and then three years later we had twins, Charlie and Lily. Billy and Izzy are already in the pack; Charlie and Lily are fifteen and they should be joining soon, what with all the vampires in the area." He laughed lightly and I joined in. I felt an overwhelming wave of love for Jacob, not only had he named his daughter after me, but he had named his son after my father, knowing I would never be able to do it myself.

"Anyway, I just wanted to see you and give you your bike back, I kept it in tune for you. It runs just as good as before. We gotta get going; Chrissy'll kill me for eating before dinner." We laughed as we got up and made our way out of the diner. Jake climbed onto his black motorbike, and a slightly indignant Izzy climbed on behind him, muttering something about being perfectly capable to run. Jacob gave his daughter an unamused look before turning back to me.

"Come visit anytime, don't worry about the treaty; you aren't a Cullen."

I thanked him and waved after them, before turning to my little red bike, a grin spreading across my face.

I climbed on, unsure whether I could remember how to do this. But, of course, it was easy. This was evidently something you couldn't forget, even with a painful vampire transformation wiping out many of your memories.

I was home in minutes, slightly damp but definitely happy. I realised then that Matt's car was already parked outside the house, so I sighed and jogged upstairs.

"Hey Matt, sorry I'm late, I went to meet an old friend. I'll get your dinner ready now."

"Bells, could you come over here a minute."

In my haste I had run straight past him in the living room to the kitchen. I turned curiously to find him sitting on the sofa, and he wasn't alone.

"Oh, hey Alice." She smiled up at me from the armchair.

"Hey. Sorry about this, but you left so quickly after school, and I needed to talk to you. Can we take a walk?"

"Sure. Can I just make dinner first?"

"It's okay Bells, you go. I have made dinner for myself in the past. But aren't you hungry?"

"Nope, I ate out."

"Oh okay then. But don't be out late."

"It's okay I won't keep her long," said Alice with a smile.

**A/N aww don't we all love Jacob? He's like the older, fictional brother that turns into a werewolf I never had.**

**I've just noticed that there is a _serious_ lack of Edward in this chapter, so I will have to post another one with plenty of E-action in it pretty soon. **

**Reviews please :) they make me happy, and I'm in a bad mood coz my friends are all being annoying. Idiots. So anyway you need to cheer me up coz you love me soo much :)**

**lots of lave**

**Sasha :) xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Helloooooo, chapter six is here everyone. I know it's quite short and I'm very sorry, but I think the next chapter is longer... I can't remember lol.**

"Okay, so what's this about?" I asked Alice as we trudged along the desrted streets of Forks.

"Well several things actually. Namely; Werewolves, motorbikes, and your sex life, and whatever else you've been hiding from me!"

I swallowed unnecessarily and sat down on a bench we were passing.

"Okay well motorbikes aren't that dangerous- not when you know how to ride one properly. And I'm pretty much indestructible now anyway"

"You weren't indestructible when you learnt how to ride it!"

"Yeah but Jake wouldn't have let me do it if he thought it was that dangerous."

"Which brings us into the next subject; WEREWOLVES FOR FRIENDS! Bella, even for you, this is ridiculous! I can't believe you thought I wouldn't fine out, you _reek!_"

"In my defence he wasn't a werewolf when we were friends! He started avoiding me when he changed, and his pack are the ones that chased away Laurent. They saved me! And I just spend two whole hours with him and his daughter and _neither_ of them attacked me! They even invited me to visit them. And you never know, having them on our team might just end up working to our advantage. It's all very well and good having a truce, but an Alpha that thinks of you as a _sister!_ That could be very useful in the future."

"Fine, I forgive you for the werewolves, even though they've made you smell disgusting! But what's all this about your virtue having gone a long time ago?"

If I could've blushed, I would've.

"He told you that?!"

"No, well yes, but I'd already seen it. And then he told Jasper and Emmett. And then we felt rude about not including Rose... and Carlisle and Esme kinda overheard."

"Great, so now my sex life is in the public domain."

"Bella that's not the point. I can't believe you'd keep this from me!"

"Well it's not really lunchtime conversation is it? And I'm not gunna divulge information about _that_ in front of Edward! He flipped out when he found out I was living with a man, if I'd told you all this he would be in Canada right now!"

"Well Edward's not here now, so you can tell me."

I sighed deeply. "Okay fine. It was about fifteen years after my transformation. He was a vampire, name of Olivier. It was sort of a heat of the moment kinda thing. Nothing special. But there were others after him, both human and vampire. Don't look at me like that, Alice. It's my body and I'll do what I like with it."

"Oh, thank-you for reminding me. Show me you legs right now, Bella."

I concentrated hard as I rolled up my trouser legs, so that when my pale skin was exposed they were scar free.

"Uh-uh, don't try and pull that one on me. You can't keep lying forever Bella. You have a problem and you need to get help. Now stop hiding your scars."

I sighed angrily before standing up and walking away from her. It was the only thing I could think of doing. I didn't want to wait for her to force me to reveal my shame.

"Bella, wait!"

I ignored her and was home before I knew it.

"Hey Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing" I lied as I cuddled up to him on the sofa.

"Jeez you're cold Bells" he said as he reached for the blanket on the back of the sofa and draping it over me.

"Sorry. Did you have dinner?"

'Yep, pizza. There's some left in the fridge is you're hungry." I shook my head.

"Oh by the way, is that your motorbike outside?"

"Yeah... you don't mind do you? A friend brought it to me. I had no idea he was coming, but I figured if he went to the trouble then I couldn't tell him no."

"Of course I don't mind Bells, I'm not your dad, you can do what you like. Like this party tomorrow night, you really didn't need to ask my permission, technically you're an adult."

"I know, but I feel rude, you are letting me live here and I just don't want to take advantage."

He laughed and mussed my hair playfully.

We watched TV together for a few hours before Matt decided he was going to bed, and I followed his example, knowing there was no point delaying it any further.

I closed my door behind me and turned to face my room.

"I don't know why you bother hiding, Edward. You know I can smell you, and if Matt went into my room you would know before he got anywhere near the door."

He stepped out from behind the long curtain and smiled sheepishly at me.

"Sorry. I need to talk to you though."

"About what?" I said nonchalantly as I stripped down to my underwear, trying my best to make him feel uncomfortable.

"A lot of things." He answered, looking away from my well curved figure as I shrugged into my pyjamas.

"This for example, this whole charade of going of bed at night, why do you bother? You could easily just go out hunting."

"I do go out hunting sometimes, but that only takes about half an hour. So I have to do other things to entertain myself."

"What other things?" he apused and frowned before continuing "Actually I don't think I want to know, not after what you told me in History."

"Oh yeah and thanks for sharing that with your entire family by the way. And I wasn't talking about sneaking some vampire into my room anyway."

"What do you do then?"

"I read, and I write stories and poems, and I dream."

"We can't dream Bella," he whispered.

"Not in the traditional sense of the word, no. But we can still dream. It's just more like thinking...very hard." I was under my duvet now, and he was perched on the end of my bed, gazing at me.

"What do you dream of?"

"How things used to be... how things would've been... the past, the present, the future. Everything."

He looked at me, his eyes full of sadness. I couldn't bear to look at the pain he was in.

"What else did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well as much as I really don't want to, I need to talk to you about what you told me earlier."

I grimaced at the thought of where this was going.

"Bella... I always wanted you to move on. If I couldn't be there to make you happy, then I wanted someone else to. But I... to think of you with another man -_ more_ than one man. Can't you see why this would hurt me? Can't you understand why it kills me that you would hurt yourself?" He gestured towards my legs. "And don't think it's because I feel guilty, that I think it's my fault. I know it's my fault. If I hadn't left you, then we would've been happy. I would've changed you myself eventually, and we would've lived together and gotten married - much to your disliking - and we would be a family. I made a terrible, terrible mistake, which I've spend the last fifty years trying to atone for. I haven't been able to, of course, because I couldn't make amends when you weren't around. But I can now. And I will." With that he leant forward and kissed me for the first time in fifty years.

It was over just as soon as it had started.

"I'm sorry," he said as he pulled away. "I don't know what I was thinking, I'll leave you now..."

I kept my eyes on my bedspread until the last traces of his scent had disappeared, then I curled up on my side and locked my arms tightly around my torso to keep from falling apart.

**A/N awww Bella you little drama queen, you. And Edward's back on the scene; yay. Reviews would be much appreciated, they make me smile like nobody's business :P**

**lots of love**

**Sasha :) xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N yoooo. How are we all? Ready for chapter seven?**

I finally opened my eyed at six am the next morning. I had lain in silence, letting the agony wash over me for one night, and one night only. I would act like nothing had happened, he obviously regretted kissing me, and even though him feeling that way killed me inside, he would never know it. He didn't want to go down that path, and I didn't either. Too much hurt. Too much pain.

I rode my bike to school - always a little too fast - relishing the feeling of the heavy raindrops on my skin. I was soaked through by the time I got to school, but I'd come prepared with a spare outfit.

After a quick outfit change in the toilets I headed straight to English. English had always been my favourite subject, especially now that I shared it with all of the Cullen's. I got to class first, opening the door to find only the teacher in the room; she was placing sheets of paper on each desk.

"Oh good morning, Bella. You're early." She smiled warmly at me.

"Am I? I didn't think I would be." I shrugged and went to my seat in the middle of the room. In a few minutes the Cullen's would arrive and sit around me; Alice and Edward on my sides, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie in front of us. They wouldn't be long; I could just about catch their scents through the slightly opened window. My stomach churned nervously at the thought of having to see Edward again. _Stupid, indifferent, beautiful vampire! _I scowled at my desk as the door opened and students began to file their way into the room.

"Bella are you seriously riding that death-trap to school?"

I looked up as the Cullen's took their seats around me and forced a smile at Alice's question.

"It saves me from walking home."

"You know we could give you a lift."

I sighed. "Alice, I like the bike. It's fun. Any all your cars are five seaters, anyway."

"We'd take two cars" interjected Rosalie with a sly smile.

I smiled back at her. It was strange being friendly with Rosalie, considering how much she used to dislike me.

At that point the boys began discussing a new game they wanted for their Playstation X. We who were not blessed with a Y chromosome ignored them and began our own conversation.

"So Bella..." said Alice as she looked down at her notepad. My stomach automatically began to churn at her tone.

"Yes?"

"I was just thinking... that maybe you'd let Rosalie and me take you shopping this weekend?" Her voice was hopeful and she smiled up at me. I released a sigh of relief- I was lucky she didn't want ot continue our discussion from yesterday.

"Is there any way I can get out of it?"

"Nope" chorused Alice and Rosalie together. I rolled my eyes and then let a sneaky smile leak onto my lips.

"Okay... I'll go." They both 'yayed' and Alice actually clapped. I put my hand up to silence them before I continued "On one condition..."

"What? I'll do it as long as I'm allowed to take you shopping!" beamed Alice.

"Okay then, so you two will ride my motorbike, then?" I said with a smug smile. If it was possible, Alice's face drained of the little colour it had.

"W-what?"

"Of course we will!" said Rosalie happily. Alice, on the other hand looked like I had just asked her to eat a three course meal and keep it down for atleast twenty-four hours.

"Alice, I will only go shopping with you if you agree."

"Fine," she grumbled as she folded her arms across her chest angrily and slouched down in her chair.

"Good. You know I'm going to hold you to this, guys?"

"Hold them to what?" asked Emmett.

"I'm letting them take me shopping on condition they both attempt to ride my bike first." I smiled evily, and Emmett's eyes lit up.

"Wait a sec; I wanna get in on this!"

"Same here!" said Jasper. I smiled broadly at their enthusiasm.

"Okay then. But no chickening out, okay?"

"Fine."

"No worries."

Both Jasper and Emmett looked excited about the prospect of riding a motorbike, and I found myself surprised that they had never ridden one before.

As the lesson began, it had not escaped my notice that Edward had not said anything about the bikes. He hadn't even greeted me. I suppressed a sigh and tried to focus on the Morlocks and the Eloi.

The bell went sooner than I wanted it to, and I found myself dreading History. I gathered my things and waited for the Cullen's to get ready and we left the classroom together, but all too soon I was left alone with Edward.

We walked slower than usual, and after a few minutes of silence I couldn't bare it anymore.

"You're awful quiet today."

"Am I?" His silky voice sounded strained, yet slightly bored.

"Yeah... is everything okay?"

He eyed me suspiciously before answering. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

"So you're not angry with me about the bike thing. That's good." I replied, mostly to myself.

He chuckled quietly. "I don't have any right to be angry with you, Bella. And if you did crash you wouldn't be hurt."

"Hmm." That's all I could think of saying. He opened the door to our class - and the pandemonium inside - holding it open for me to walk through. The class was bickering loudly, and there was an unfamiliar face behind the desk. _Supply teacher, great._

"Hey Bella, Hey Edward." said Dylan in a cheerful voice as we sat down.

"Hey Dyl" I answered with a smile, his constant high spirits were infectious. Over the past four days Dylan and I had become good friends. We were close - well, as close as two people could get in four days. He turned round in his chair to talk to us as I beganto tap my pen on my notepad again.

"Just letting you know, we're meeting at seven outside the Thriftway tonight. You guys still coming?"

"Definitely." I said. "But I'll probably have to meet you there; I've got some stuff I need to take care of first." I couldn't risk not hunting, I didn't know how appetising the humans at this party would be, and the dryness in my throat was building up slowly.

"Okay, we'll see you there then. Ed, you still coming?"

I looked at Edward just in time to see him wipe all emotion from his face and smile at Dylan. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

I smiled quickly to myself, I had seen several emotions on his face. Annoyance-most likely at my pen tapping; a grimace of irritation- probably from being called 'Ed'; and curiosity. I didn't know about that one...

My smile was wiped away as I rejoined the conversation.

"Great, there's this girl I've been meaning to introduce you to since, like, forever! I know you insist that you don't date, but I think you'll really like this girl," said Dylan.

"Oh really? What's her name?" I asked before Edward could respond.

"Samantha. She's an old family friend from Port Angeles."

"That's a nice name. What's she like?"

"She's clever, funny, a bit of a smart-ass. Fairly tall, she's got light brown hair and blue eyes."

"She sounds nice, you should meet her Edward."

He eyed me suspiciously before he answered. "Yeah, sure. I'll meet her. But I'm not promising anything."

I smiled at him and began doodling on my folder while they discussed tonight. Sometimes I would join in with the conversation, trying to ooze nonchalance, though it was quite difficult. But Edward didn't want to be with me, so that meant we had to be just friends. _Friends want friends to get their happily-ever-afters, no matter who it's with._

The rest of the day was annoyingly formulaic. It surprised me that Alice seemed to be giving me the cold shoulder throughout the rest of the morning's lessons and lunch, and I eventually decided I would ask her about it in Maths.

"Alice what's wrong? Are you annoyed about this whole bike thing? Coz you don't have to do it if it's getting you this upset," my voice was far too low for humans to hear as we scribbled down equations. Emmett leaned back slightly in his chair so he could hear us easier.

"It's not that Bella. It's what you were doing in History I'm annoyed with."

"What was I doing?"

"Trying to set up Edward with another girl."

"What! Bella, what were you thinking?" whispered Emmett.

"I wasn't trying to set him up; I was just giving him a helpful nudge in the right direction."

"This Samantha girl is not the right direction, Bella."

"Then who is?"

"YOU!" They both hissed silently.

"Oh for heaven's sake guys, you're gunna have to get your heads around the fact that nothing is going to happen with Edward and me. Neither of us wants it to so you're wasting your efforts. The sooner you work that out, the easier this'll be."

"Bella, do us all a favour and stop lying to yourself," said Emmett with an exasperated tone.

"I'm not lying to myself! And I'll prove it to you, are you coming tonight?"

"Yes, we all are."

"Well be prepared to be proved _very_ wrong." Alice dropped her pen onto her book and sat bolt upright.

"Bella... why did I just see Edward and some random brunette getting it on at the party? And you with... Oh my God is that Dylan?"

"Because I've made my decision. And obviously that girl isn't me, is it?"

"Bella!!" They both sounded appalled.

"Neither of you are to think about this in front of him, it'll only ruin the surprise."

"Surprise?" asked Emmett sounding skeptical.

"Oh you know what I mean!"

"Fine. You realise this decision has ruined everything, right?"

"We.. maybe it's for the best." I replied as I wrote down the answer to another equation.

**A/N errrmm yeah sorry bout Bella being a right idiot and stuff, but remember the old phrase 'things are gunna get wrose before they can get worse'? Well it's kinda one of those situations. Lots of Bella angst coming up, this story is wayy depressing man :P**

**Oh and I've come up with a plot for my next story :) it's a 'Bella-get's-pregant-Edward-leaves', but I'm adding a few twists :) mwaahh haa haaaa**

**Reviews? You know I love them :P **

**lots of love**

**Sasha :) xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N okay this is the party chapter - i think I've dragged out the rest of the week long enough lol. When I was writing this I _really_wanted to slap Bella in the face for being such a complete ass. But I can't, because she is in fact fictional. Damn.**

**And I'm getting distracted with writing my next story, which doesn't have much Edward in it yet. Double damn. Anyway...**

I was running through the woods flat out, my nostrils flared at the sweet smell a few hundred feet in front of me. I sprung neatly from the ground and flew through the air, landing in a crouch on a small doe. My hands fastened around her neck and i sunk my teeth into her soft, warm flesh. I drained her as quickly as I could, not wanting to let the poor creature live in pain for too long, and moved on to the next victim. I fed more than I usually would; taking every precaution I could about tonight. I had never tasted human blood. The thought of taking a person away from their family... a shiver ran down my spine as I disposed of the deer carcasses.

By the time I got home it was just gone six. I walked across the empty apartment to the bathroom, not even stopping to wonder where Matt was. I showered quickly; the mirror barely had enough time to fog up before I turned the tap off. I wrapped myself in a towel and walked back to my bedroom. I dried my hair at an annoyingly human pace - stupid human technology - and then looked my reflection square in the eye. My concentration made my dry hair curl very slightly, and parts of it pinned themselves back without any hairgrips. Once I was satisfied I did my make up and turned towards my wardrobe.

I dressed in a tight fitting black tank top and jeans with a ridiculous pair of stilettos. They were made of patent leather; the five inches, wafer thin heels had glitter all over them. Human Bella would never have gotten away with this... she'd have fallen flat on her face. I sighed at the memories that were all but lost and sat down on my bed. Tonight was going to be hard... I wasn't sure I could go through with it. _At least I'll be getting something out of it..._

As I smiled ruefully to myself I caught a sweet scent and hastily pulled myself up. I had just enough time to hide my second outfit before their was a small rapping sound against the glass pane of my window.

I walked over and undid the clasp on the window before I opened it. I stood directly in front of it so that Edward could not come in. He made no move to enter, he just perched on the thin windowsill calmly.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Well I was on my way to meet the others, and I just wanted to check if you had changed your mind... obviously not seen as you're dressed like that," his eyes quickly flickered over my outfit before he looked back up to my face.

I smiled. "I'm gunna take that as a complement. Anyway I'm not ready yet, so I'll see you there."

"Okay... see you in a bit." He turned to leave but then stopped. "I was just wondering... what were those things you needed to take care of?"

"Oh, I just wanted to go hunting... there are gunna be a lot of humans tonight."

"But your eyes were already light today." He looked a bit embarrassed as he said this, like he shouldn't have noticed it, or admitted that he had noticed for that matter.

"Yeah I know, it's easier if I keep them that colour all the time."

"What do you mean?" _Shit! You've said too much._

"Nothing it doesn't matter." I silently prayed that he would accept my explanation and let it go.

"Oh...okay. Well I guess I should go then. See you later." _Hmm... so God does here a vampires prayer. Interesting..._

Looking up from my thoughts I realised that Edward was gone. I sighed deeply as the last wonderful wisps of his scent disappeared and I was left with only the smell of myself and Matt. I checked my appearance once more before I left my room. As I passed the living room I noticed a note on the coffee table. I picked it up and read it briefly.

_Bella_

_I'm going out for dinner with a friend, _

_I don't know what time I'll be home._

_Be careful, and have fun,_

_Matt_

I smiled as I put the note back down and made my way towards the door. I walked quickly through the streets of Forks to the nearest patch of forest. Once I was under the cover of the trees I ran at vampire speed to Port Angeles. I dashed through the shadowy backstreets until I found the warehouse where the party was being held. I stepped out onto the street and walked the few hundred meters to the entrance, stopping to straighten out my outfit before I entered.

I found myself in cavernous room made of corrugated iron. The floor was poured concrete. Music blared from large speakers, positioned advantageously around the room, each speaker coupled with a set of lights. Some threw out strips of coloured lights, shaped into stars and circles by filters covering the bulbs. Others sent bright strobes across the warehouse. The effect was odd and slightly annoying. It distorted the faces of the hundreds of dancers, making my mission much harder. I sniffed the air and tried to separate his scent from the others. I found him after a moment or two, he was somewhere in the middle of the room, with the rest of his family. I followed their scent until I could see them, but they couldn't see me...yet.

I allowed myself one quick glance at Edward before I continued. He was stanking with his brothers and sisters and some of our classmates, they all had bottles of alcohol in their hands though I noticed the Cullens' bottles were still full. Edward's thick hair was unkempy as usual, and the top buttons of his shirt was undone. I bit my lip as he laughed at one of Emmett's idiotic comments, God he looked good... _NO! Friends do not think of each other that way. Stop. It. _

I shook my head to clear away my thoughts of Edward before I started my search. He would have to be a stranger... it would safe some awkward onversations.

"Hey" I spun round to see the answer to my prayers staring down at me. He was tall, withan athletes body and black hair.

"Hey yourself" I responded, trying to be as sexy as possible.

"I haven't seen you before, have you just moved here?"

"No, I live up in Forks. I'm Bella, by the way."

"Nice to meet you Bella, I'm Josh."

He insisted on getting me a drink, though I knew it would have no effect on me. I decided I would try and impress him by throwing down seven shots, and it worked. We flirted for a while, and I slowly moved him so we were directly in Edward's line of sight.

Slowly, I leaned in slowly and kissed him. I was careful not to let his flesh make contact with my razor sharp teeth, though I had had plenty of experience in the past of keeping humans safe from them. I didn't really feel the kiss, I was trying to gage Edward's reaction without looking at him. A few moments later I pulled away with a smile.

"Hey, could you go get some more drinks? I'll be right here when you come back." I smiled sweetly and he replied with a dazed sounding "sure" before he stumbled off towards the alcohol

Once he was gone I rolled my eyes and made my way to the emergency exit at the back of the warehouse. There were no toilets, so this would have to be my changing room. I took a quick look around the alley to check it was desserted before I changed at the speed of light into my second outfit. I'd chosen a tight fitting black dress that clung to my figure. I stowed my jeans and top in my handbag before beginning to concentrate on my appearance. In my minds eye I pictured a pretty human girl, with light brown hair and a pair of exquisite navy blue eyes. I felt the familiar tingling as my face morphed and smiled at my success. Then I inhaled the cold Semtember air an tried to pick out Edward's scent. I realised then that he was outside. My brow furrowed as I followed his scent around the side of the building like a sniffer dog until I found him.

He was standing infront of pile of crates, pacing the wet pavement. As I approached he looked up at me expectantly, but when he saw my face he frowned and sat down on one of the crates.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, approaching him cautiously. My voice had a slightly higher tempo, and I found that I actually quite liked the sound.

"Yeah... I'm fine." He sighed at me.

"Uh-uh, you can't fool me. What's wrong?" He looked at me, slightly very confused and slightly shocked.

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh, sorry. I'm really forward. And you look kinda... shell shocked. Are you sure you're all right?"

His amber eyed met mine and they were full of sadness. "Not really, no."

I shuffled my feet incomfortably, suddenly my brilliant plan didn't seem so well thought out. What was I trying to prove by doing this? I shook my thoughts away and turned my attention back to Edward. I walked slowly forward and sat beside him on the crate. We were both silent for a moment so I began to rummage through my bag.

"Do you smoke?" I asked, producing a pack of cigarettes which I had purchased specifically for this charade.

"Not usually...but desperate times and all that." he reached forward and took a cigarette from the pack, and I tried my best not to raise my eyebrows in disbelief. I did however take a deep sniff of his scent to check it was actually him.

I took a cigarette for myself and lit it before handing him the lighter.

"Thanks." he said as he sat down next to me on the crate.

I took a deep puff of my cigarette before turning to loko at him.

"So what's wrong?" I asked. He made no response so I continued "C'mon, sometimes it's easier to open up to a complete stranger than the people you love."

"Well that's just it... the reason I'm sitting out here."

"What do you mean?" I asked sincerely. _What is he talking about?_

"Well a few years ago I had this girlfriend, and I loved her more than I'd ever loved anyone else before."

"What happened?" I asked, trying to hide the hurt in my voice; this girl had only been a few years ago, it wasn't me.

"She... me being with her, it constantly put her in danger. So I left her to keep her safe. I thought I'd never see her again, and every day we're apart is like a knife to my heart. I still love her, and I probably always will, but she doesn't seem to understand that. She's back in my life now, but she just wants to be friends, and it's killing me. She's moved on, of course, but I can't. My friends keep trying to set me up, but no one will ever match her." He took a long drag of his cigarette, as did I. We sat in silence for a few minutes until I through the stub of my cigarette on the floor and stood on it to put out the last of the embers. He did the same and then turned to look at me.

All of a sudden his lips were on mine. His tongue slowly pushed my lips open and we both fell into the kiss. A thousand emotions rushed through me at the moment our lips met. Success hit home first, this is what I'd wanted him to do. And then came passion; I was _kissing _Edward! We were kissing like we had never kissed before. I longed for more, I longed for _him. _But wait... he was kissing me. A perfect stranger. In a way he would never dare kiss me... I felt my heart crack at the rejection implied by his tongue gently and unknowingly caressing mine. I was pressed against the wall of the warehouse now as we kissed. Edward's left hand was in my hair, pressing me to him, while his right hand ran the length of my thigh and then hitched up my leg. His lips left mine and he kissed the nape of my neck. I tried to push back the revelation I had just made, sure that I was over thinking things.

"I know it's you Bella..." he whispered as he kissed my neck once more. I gasped and he brought his face up to look at me, his eyes were birning with passion.

"W-what?"

"I knew from the start, you didn't change your scent. At first when I saw this in Alice's head, I was very confused. Then you walked out here, looking like this and I smelled you, and I understood. By the way, this is a very interesting little talent you have here, and neglected to mention... And I have to say that the cigarettes were a nice touch. Very human."

He laughed briefly against my lips and I frowned. "I don't understand."

"Bella, what did I say leess than five minutes ago? You are and always will be the only one for me. I am in love with you, Bella."

I drew back from him slightly. "What?"

"I love you. I never stopped loving you. Every day we were apart was like hell, and now you're back. And I am never going to let you go again." My lips crept upwards into a smile and I laughed.

"I guess it wouldbe stupid to ask if I'm dreaming, wouldn't it?"

"Well I was under the impression that you could do that too." He smiled crookedly at me again and kissed me passionately.

"So I really didn't have you fooled at all then?" I asked once he'd pulled away.

"Bella, would I ever kiss a human this way? Scratch that, would I ever kiss anyone that wasn't _you_ this way?" I smiled again in response.

"Bella, oh Bella. There was never anyone for me but you; not before, not after. Only you" His eyes smoldered as he smoke and I lent forward to kiss him again.

"Wait, love. Could you possibly be you again? This body is not the one I've longed for for half a century." He smiled crookedly and I obliged.

Edward looked at me in awe of my transformation, then he lent his head down further and his lips met mine with more passion than they had ever done before.

I let out a little moan of pleasure as he pressed his hard stone body against mine and he chuckled at my reaction.

"Come with me..." I took his hand and pulled him away into the darkness.

**A/N jeez that was a long one. Well it was for me anyway. Yay Edward finally got his act together :) well done, lovely. **

**Right I might not update this for a while because although I actually have written the rest, I don't like it. So I might have to re-write the rest of it, starting from the end of this chapter. And also my other story is beginning to nag on my mind, it reaaaaaally wants to be written. Anyway, reviews would be muhc appreciated as always, and thank you to everyone who's already written; we're up to 71 guys! Woop Woop!**

**lots of love**

**Sasha :) xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N guess what. We're on 88 reviews :) awesomeness**

**oh, and prepare yourself for a lemony chapter...**

We slowed to human pace as we approached my home. His arm wrapped around my waist and he kissed the top of my hair as we walked. I opened the front door with some difficulty as Edward had started kissing me again. As soon as the door was open I hooked my arms around his neck and he lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist. He carried me up the stairs to my apartment and I opened the door without turning my face from his.

"Hey Bells- Oh, sorry!" I turned in Edwards arms, unknotting my legs from him as I did. Matt was sitting in front of the TV, his arm wrapped around who I could only assume was his new beau, Peter. They were both looking from me to Edward and back to me again, broad grins across their faces.

"Oh, hey. Sorry I thought you'd be in bed by now..." I trailed off as the embarrassment soaked in to me.

"It's not even ten, Bells. Who's this then?" Matt's grin spread at my blatant embarrassment.

"Oh right, Matt this is Edward, Edward this is Matt my."

"Hey, nice to meet you Edward, I'm Bella's brother. And this is Peter." Edward smiled politely as he shook both their hands.

"It's good to finally meet you Bella, Matt's told me a lot about you," said Peter as he held out his hand to shake mine.

"It's good to meet you too, Peter. And whatever Matt's told you is a probably a lie," I laughed as I shook his hand.

"So what are you guys up to?" said Matt with a broad grin - no doubt taking in the way Edward's hands wrapped lovingly around my waist and I leaned against him.

'Umm nothing really. The party wasn't that good so we decided to come hang out here instead."

"Uh-huh" Said Matt and Peter in unison, probably remembering our somewhat less than orthodox entry.

"Okay well we don't want to interrupt your evening anymore, so we'll just go hang out in my room. Night, guys." I said with an embarrassed wave, and then I took Edward's hand and pulled him toward my bedroom. As I closed the door I heard Matt saying something about 'protection' which Peter found very entertaining.

"Well that was embarrassing." I said as I sat down on the bed. Edward laughed as he sat down beside me.

"They found it very entertaining. And they're a bit jealous as well."

"Well that's logical, I'd be devastated if you were taken."

Edward laughed softly as he reached up and stroked my hair. His perfect features were still, unchanging and his lips were now just millimeters from mine.

"Did you mean what you said earlier? When you said you still loved me."

"Of course I did," he whispered.

I smiled and leaned forward, letting our lips touch softly. After a moment or two I gently ran my tongue along his lips and he opened them. As we kissed slowly I reached up and hooked my hands through his hair.

We kissed with a passion I hadn't known in all my years. It wasn't a rushed, hurried passion; it was slow and sensual. And so good.

All of a sudden Edward pulled away from me and looked down at his lap.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"Nothing... it's just this isn't how I imagined it."

I frowned, "What do you mean?"

He looked up and his golden gaze pierced mine.

"Bella we both know that you're far more experinced at this than I... and I just wish it were different I suppose. I wish that our first time had been exactly that, _our_ first time. Not mine. I know it's my fault; if I hadn't left -"

"Edward stop. We've talked about this, you were tyring to protect me. I've forgiven you for that."

"I know, I know. But that doesn't change the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing."

I finally realised why he was worried, and I sighed. I took his face in my hands and forced him to meet my gaze.

"Edward, I love you. That's all that matters. And everyone is scared the first time, it's only natural. But that doesn't matter because I am in love with you, and I want to be with you." I leaned forward and kissed him again.

My hands trailed down his shirt and began to slowly undo the buttons. I undid the last one and pushed the soft fabric of his hard shoulders, throwing it to the floor. His arms wrapped around me, one hand in my hair, the other moving slowly up and down my back. His lips left mine and began to kiss the nape of my neck gently, causing a soft moan to escape my lips. Reaching back, I took his hand and led it to the zip at the side of my dress. His long fingers pulled the zipper down and then reached up, slowly pushing the shoulders of the dress down my arms revealing my torso. His lips reached back to mine and bet passionately. I raised myself slightly so he could pull my dress down my legs and cast it on the floor.

I reached down awkwardly and slipped a finger into each of my shoes to pull it off. When Edward realised what I was doing he laughed softly and pulled the second one of for me. He took my foot in his hand and kissed it softly, then allowed his lips to make their way up my shin ot my knee, where he replaced his lips with his tongue and continued up my thigh. I moaned softly as he reached the sensitive skin at the edge of my thong.

Before he could go any further I pulled his face back to mine and kissed him again. My fingers fumbled with his jeans, while he reached back and unclasped my bra, letting it fall to the floor with the rest of the clothes - closely followed by his jeans. His lips made their way down my jaw and neck to my breasts. Edward slowly licked and nibbled my nipples while I moaned in ecstasy, slowly leaning back onto the bed. Edward straddled me a he continued to kiss my chest, his arousal evident in his silk briefs. I reached forward and tugged them down over his erection. Edward's thumb hooked around my underwear and pulled it away easily, leaving us both utterly naked together for the first time.

His golden eyes took in my body for a moment, and I let mine travel down the hard sculpted skin of his chest to his throbbing erection, begging to be satisfied. Our eyes met and I leaned up to kiss him again while he brought his hips down against mine, entering me carefully.

I moaned again in complete bliss as Edward began to push in and out of me with a painfully slow rhythm. Soon he began to pick up pace and our moans and groans of passion became louder as we both approached our climax.

With one last toe-curlingly deep thrust my back arched and my breath caught as Edward's eyes closed and he moaned with pleasure.

He collapsed onto the bed beside me and we both breathed deeply.

"See, that wasn't so bad was it?" I asked with a sly smile as I curled up against his chest.

"No, your right, it wasn't" he answered, sounding slightly dazed. I grinned and reached up to kiss his cheek affectionately.

We lay there like this for a few hours, in complete silence, until Edward whispered my name quietly.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I... never mind."

"What is it? Tell me," I demanded quietly.

"Okay... I was going to ask you... if I was any good" he finished so quietly I almost didn't hear him, which I'm sure he intended. I reached up and turned his face to look at me. He had his poker face on, but his eyes burned with unmistakable curiosity.

"Edward, belive me when I say this, last night was the best night of my life. You weren't good, you were phenominal. Does that answer your question?" I asked with a small smile on my lips.

He smiled crookedly down and kissed as an answer.

"I'm surprised you had to ask, aren't you absolutely wonderful at everything? Or is that just my imagination?" We laughed briefly before returning to our blissful silence for a few more hours.

**A/N right, all that chpater seems to be is sex. **

**The next one will have more of a plot, and I've worked out what I want to happen at the end now so it's all hunky dory in SashaLand.**

**Jeez I've got issues :P , anyhow reviews would be appreciated a lot :)**

**lots of love**

**Sasha :) xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N hmmm, i'm in a very good mood today :)**

**we're on like 110 review guys :) chuffed much? I am.**

**Anyway, chapter ten...**

"I suppose we should get up soon. What time do humans usually get up?" joked Edward as his hand ran slowly up and down my arm.

"Umm well it's a Saturday, and there was a party yesterday, so I'd say about midday. But seen as we were home early, now will do. It's nearly ten," I answered, curled into his side.

"Okay, then." I pulled myself upright, wrapping the sheet around my torso like a toga, and shuffled over to my wardrope.

"So... what are we doing today?" I enquired as I pulled on some blue underwear and clipped on a matching bra. When Edward didn't answer, it turned to look at him only to find his gaze was focused on my figure.

"Hey! Focus, would you?"

"Sorry?" He asked, looking slightly dazed at my interruption.

"I asked you what we were doing today, but you were too busy ogling to notice me." I teased as I pulled on a pair of jeans and a checked blouse.

"I don't mind, whatever you want to do."

"Oh... I think I'm meant to be shopping with Alice and Rose today."

"Not unless they right your death-trap of a vehicle, unless I'm mistaken."

"Very true, I might not have to go shopping; they could chicken out."

"Hmm, well we'll have to wait and see won't we?" He said as he pulled on his clothes from the night before.

"You know this is quite shaming; wearing the same clothes I arrived in last night. What will the neighbours think of us?"

"You should know." I joked as I did up the buttons on his shirt for him and he pulled on his jeans.

"Ha ha, I haven't heard that one before." He smirked.

"C'mon, let's go see your family."

Matt wasn't up yet, and there was an unfamiliar pair of shoes at the door so I decided not to wake him, instead I left him a note.

_Matt -_

_Gone out with Edward for breakfast,_

_and Alice is probably going to force _

_me to go shopping after, I'll probably_

_eat dinner out so don't cook for me, _

_hope you had a nice date ! _

_love, Bella_

I stuck the note on the fridge with a magnet and left the apartment. We walked hand in hand down the stairs and out the front door onto the side walk.

"Okay, get on." I said pulling Edward toward my bike.

"You have to be kidding Bella!"

"Don't tell be you're scared! And how are we meant to enjoy Alice falling off it if we don't take it!"

"Bella..."

"Please Edward! I've done a lot for you, and I promise I won't let anything happen to you. Believe it or not I'm actually good at it!"

"Ugh, fine. But just be careful, alright? I don't trust these things." He frowned at the bike as I climbed on. He took his seat behind me rather gingerly, and I forced back a laugh. He did remember he was indestrubtable, right?

"You'll have to hold onto me, Edward. Slide forward a bit, there that's better." I kick-started the engine and pulled away from the curb.

The wind blew in my face as we rode to the Cullen house. I felt Edward's tension slowly disappear as we sped through the streets of Forks and I pushed the speed up with a grin. I heard him laugh behind me as we crossed the bridge and approached the turn near invisible turn off for his house.

As the house eventually came into view at the end of the driveway he lowered his lips to my neck and kissed me softly.

"So?" I said as I parked the bike in their well stocked garage.

"Okay fine, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"And?"

"And you're a very capable rider. And I'm sorry I doubted your ability."

"Okay, you're forgiven." I said with a grin as he pulled me into another heavenly kiss. My hands entwined in his bronze hair and he pulled my hips against him and holding me there, making his intentions crystal clear.

I drew back after a moment. "Not here Edward, you know as well as I do that they'd hear us."

"Well to be fair, I've had to put up with their sexual antics for more than a century now. I think I deserve my revenge." I giggled like a little school girl and he smiled crrokedly, knowing I wouldn't be able to resist it.

I leant in and kissed him once more before releasing my hold on him with all but one hand.

"C'mon Eager-McBeaver, you know Alice is going to be jumping out of her skin with antisipation right now. Let's go."

We walked hand in hand from the garage up towards the house, our arms swinging slightly with our slow pace. We climbed up the three stairs onto the porch and Edward reached for the door handle.

Before he had even touched the metal knob the door was thrown open and Alice came hurtling out, wrapping her arms tightly around me.

"It's about time! For goodness sake, you two! We've been so worked up about you all night and then you come waltzing in here all loved up!"

I laughed into her shoulder "You didn't think I'd forgotten our bargain did you? And plus didn't you see anything?''

She pulled away from me and frowned. "Only glimpses of things, but they were quite umm... intimit. So I blocked them before I could see any faces... or details." She shuddered and I spressed a giggle. She rolled her eyes at me before grabbing my hand and pulling the two of us inside the Cullen's home.

The whole family was in the living room, they sort of reminded me of a welcoming commity. I smiled at them as Edward pulled me towards one of the empty love seats.Esme and Carlisle sat next to each other on one of the love seats, theirs hands entwined between them. Emmett was holding Rosalie to his broad chest as she lounged on the sofa. Jasper was sitting on the sofa, his arm draped over the back of it, waiting for Alice to return to his side. Alice danced across the room to her husband's arms, and I curled up against the hard, comforting stone of his chest.

It took me a moment to realise that all the Cullen's were looking at us with love and understanding in their eyes. The attention was odd, and if Edward hadn't been there with me I would have been extremely self-conscious.

I laughed nervously "Okay why are you staring? Your starting to freak me out guys."

"We're just happy that you to finally worked things out" said Carlisle in a fatherly voice.

"But I'm still confused." said Emmett.

"Why?" asked Esme.

"Alice's vision in maths yesterday, what was all that about?"

"Yeah, I still don't get that." said Alice.

"Oh. Right, that. Yeah that one's kinda my fault." I said, slightly embarrassed.

"Wait, what vision?" said Rosalie.

"Well we were in maths and we were talking about the party, and Bella made a decision about something, and then I saw her at the party kissing some boy, and Edward with some other girl. But the thing is, it didn't change, my vision stayed the same, so I assumed it had happened. And then when you two disappeared we got worried. But then you show up here this morning on the back of that motorbike" her nose wrinkled at the word and Edward cracked a smile "and started getting it on in the garage. I think I speak for everyone when I say 'what in hells name is going on?'"

I laughed and sat up slightly.

"Okay, I guess we have some explaining to do. You see I haven't been exactly truthful with you all."

"What do you mean?" asked Jasper.

"I think its best if you show them, love. It makes more sense that way." Edward told me.

I began to concentrate, turning my face into first Alice's, then Esme's and then finally Rosalie's. The room was silent.

I morphed back into myself and looked at all of their shocked faces.

"Well Heck! That- that was... what just happened?" Emmett's eyed were so wide they looked like they might just pop out of his head.

"You can shape shift?" asked Carlisle, his voice dripping with fascination.

"Yep. There are a few limitations though. I can go older, but I can't be a child or a baby or anything like that... And I can only do females."

They all looked flabbergasted, except Edward, he simply smiled gently at me as he stroked my hair.

"So... then what happened yesterday?" Esme asked, leaning forward in her seat.

I sighed before I began. "Well it's kinda stupid really. I deliberately made out with this guy in front of Edward, and then I changed into another girl and changed my clothes and stuff so he wouldn't recognise me, then I went and found him. I thought I was very convincing in my act but he worked out it was me because I forgot to change my scent. And that's when the whole kissing thing started..."

"What? That's crazy! Seriously Bella what was actually the point of that?" Alice sounded repulsed by my actions, but I knew it was just her bitterness for her misleading vision.

"The point was to stop Edward feeling guilty about me and to make you lot believe we were over each other. Evidently things didn't go to plan.  
And now I think of it, it _really _didn't make sense... I mean, Edward would've kissed this girl and then she'd have disappeared forever. Plan making is not one of my best skills" I frowned at this revelation and Edward chuckled softly.

"Wait... is that how you did it?" I looked up at Rosalie and I could've sworn I heard a small click as the pieces fitted together in her head. Edwards arm tightened around me gently, confirming my suspicions.

"Did what?" I asked innocently.

"Of course!" whispered Alice, leaning forward in her seat towards me.

'Of course what, Alice?" asked Carlisle.

"I've been trying to work out how you did that all week!"

"Did what? Edward you can see in her head, what's she thinking?" Emmett couldn't stand being out of the loop. I glanced up at Edward's face and frowned in defeat. His jaw was set and he looked at me angrily.

"Well. This explains a lot, Bella."

I swallowed and sat up to look at him properly. "Edward don't freak out, okay?"

"What's going on?" asked a worried Esme.

"It seems that we just solved the mystery of Bella's scars." said Alice gravely.

"What do you mean Alice?" asked Jasper, his confusion swept quickly over all of us.

"She's been hiding them. They're really there."

I heard the Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and Emmett gasp in shock, and I turned to look at Edward, at the pain in his eyes.

**A/N ooooooooooooh gutted, Bella. This is why honesty is always best, let that teach all you ridiculous fictional charecters a lesson. The truth will out :)**

**Okayy enough rambling from me, what did we think? Reviews os gwelwch yn dda? **

**Haha, soz my welsh friend taught me that... basically means please :)**

**Right, me thinks it's time to hunt up some food, laterzz**

**lots of love**

**Sasha :) xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N I know I didn't update yesterday but I got distracted; I made a list of story plots I was planning to write... there was colour-coding involved. God I love colour-coding... Anyway, time for chapter ten :)**

**Ooh Bella's secret it out, how will the Cullen's react?...**

I glanced up at the clock on the wall, it had been ten minutes now. Ten excruciatingly slow and silent minutes. The Cullen's were deathly silent; Esme looked almost shellshocked, Carlisle had his chin cupped in his hand and his brow was furowed, as if trying to find the answere to a difficult question. Emmett was leaning forward in his seat, his hands cupped around his mouth and nose; Rosalie rubbed soothing cicles on his back while her eyes focused sadly on her knees. Jasper was doing his best to cope with all the emotion in the room, he was leaning his head on his hand with his fingers knotted in his hair. Alice has her knees drawn up o nthe sofa infront of her with her arms wrapped tightly around them as she stared at me withe broken eyes.

Edward looked down at me with such sadness in his golden eyes, and I was the one who put it there. Me. I stared at him, unsure what to do, what to say. He wasn't holding me against his chest anymore, we were sitting formally side my side, and the distance broke my dead heart.

The silence was terrible, I could hear everything. The birds outside the house sang, the shower upstairs dripped steadily, the Cullen's breathed slowly. I couldn't take this much more.

"Someone say something." I whispered, as I stared at my lap.

Edward reached out and took my hand in his tentatively. I looked him in the eyes again, preying the pain that had been ther earlier to have disappeared. With his free hand he reached out and stroked my hair, slowly pulling me back into the comfort of his chest. He clung to me with all his strength, and I him.

"Oh Bella..." he whispered softly into my hair.

"Edward, I'm so sorry, so so sorry."

" 'S not your fault, love. It's mine, all mine," he muttered against my hair.

"Bella... I think we need to talk about this" I heard Carlisle say gravely.

"I know." I croaked into Edward's shoulder. Edward loosened his grip, allowing me to turn and face the rest of the family. They were all in exactly the same position as before.

I met Carlisle's eyes, so full of compassion and love, and nodded. He leaned back in his chair and Esme put a comforting hand in his.

"When was the first time you hurt yourself Bella?"

"About a week after I was changed I began biting... but, before that, when I was human, I was c-cutting myself. And I guess that started at around Christmas after... when you left. It helped... nobody knew, not even Charlie. I would hide it well. I used to cut my thigh, high up enough you wouldn't see even if I was wearing shorts - not that I'd wear shorts here." I gestured towards the rain outside the great glass wall to my left. And then Laurent found me that day... and I was _relieved._ I'd thought of doing it myself - of killing myself - but I could never have done that to Charlie. Laurent wanted to kill me; it seemed like an easy escape. I was so happy that it was finally going to end, the pain... and then the werewolves interrupted him. I was so confused at the time; I didn't know why he stopped. A small part of me was... insulted; I thought I wasn't good enough for him to drink. Suffice to say my self esteem was at rock bottom at this point. Then I blacked out and I woke up three days later, and I realised what had happened...

"I stayed in the woods, I was too scared to go anywhere near humans, and the thought of hunting was... less than desirable. I starved myself, hoping that eventually I would waste away to nothing. I knew it wouldn't work, but I still tried. And I was still depressed, ridiculously so. I knew that I wouldn't' be able to cut anymore, and then I remembered one of you saying that the only thing that would make a mark was venom. That's when it started. Sometimes I would bite every day, sometimes I would be able to hold off for a week or so. The longest I ever managed was nine days." I had been concentrating with all my might on the pattern on Edward's sleeve, only inches from my face. I finally looked up and met Carlisle's fatherly gaze as he nodded, acknowledging what I had just confessed.

"When was the last time you bit yourself Bella?"

I thought for a moment, counting back in my head. "Nearly a week, the last time was the night before I started school... it the anniversary, so to speak."

I turned my head and hid it in Edward's chest, inhaling the wonderful scent. I thought it would've been impossible for him to hold me any tighter, but he managed. His grip on me was iron-clad and comforting.

"So you bite yourself on the anniversart of our leaving, when else?"

I sighed. "Whenever I feel... alone. More alone than usual. Like when Charlie died. That was particularily brutal. And... on Thursday night, I almost bit myself. The only reason I didn't was because I thought Alice would see me."

"What made you want to bite yourself on Thursay, Bella?"

I swallowed, I couldn't say it was becasue Edward kissed me and then disappeared. That would just hurt him more than he already was.

"Bella?"

"Well... paranoia, I guess. I felt very unwanted, unloved." _Please, Carlisle, just leave it at that._

"Edward?" I whispered into his chest, not giving Carlisle the chance to ask anymore questions.

"Yes, love?"

"I'm sorry. I know how stupid I was now. You have no idea how much I regret it."

He lowered his head to mine and kissed my hair lovingly. "It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been such an incomparable ass."

I smiled, it always sounded funny to me when he swore. "I promise... I'll never do it again. I swear. Not even if you leave again..."

"Well that isn't an issue, I'm not strong enough to leave you again."

"I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled up at him, noticing the worry in his eyes had depleted somewhat.

I turned my head and smiled at him. "So... is that all we needed to talk about?" I asked Carlisle.

"Yes, I suppose... you did swear. And I think we'll know if you're thinking of going back on your words, well at least Alice and Jasper will."

"And if it comes do it, dentistry has always interested me." interjected Emmett with a small smile, Rose stopped rubbing his back and smacked him hard.

"Jeez Rose, I was kidding!" We all laughed lightly.

"Actually Bella, seen as we're all here at the moment, I think we'd all like to know everything you've been doing for the last fifty years, you still haven't told us." said Esme kindly.

_Damn, I was hoping to keep that lovely story for another day._

"Umm, okay. If you want." I sat up and repositioned myself in Edward's arms.

Well, when you all left, Edward made me promise not to do anything stupid or reckless. I wandered around the woods looking for him for hours, and me being me I got lost. Charlie set up a search party, and they found me after a while. I was pretty much a wreck for the next couple of monthes; people at school soon learnt not to bother with me - I was a lost cause. One day Charlie had finally had enough, he told me I either had to start living again or he was sending me to live in Jacksonville with Renee. I sorta snapped out of it, after that. One day I went to the cinema with Jessica, and there were some guys on the street that reminded me of the ones that had threatened me before. I don't know why, but I walked towards them, to see if it was them. And that's when I first heard it. It turned out that whenever I put myself in danger... I could hear Edward. Very clearly, like he was next ot me or something. And it didn't hurt to remember him that way. I'd start delibrately doing dangerous things, just so I could remember him. One day I bought a motorbike. It wasn't working, so I had Jake fix it up for me. And he fixed me, almost. He brought sunshine and happiness back into my life, at least for a little while. But he wanted more than friendship, and I couldn't dela with anything more than what we had, and I told him that. Then he started to avoid me... that hurt.

"I was out walking one day, I was looking for Edward's meadow - in truth I'd been looking for it for weeks. And then, I found it. It was really there, just as I remembered. It was cloudy though that day, and I was alone, so it wasn't as special. In fact it nearly broke me being there. I'd picked up a habit of crossing my arms whenever I thought of you all, to stop myself from falling apart, and I was doing that when he found me. Laurent. He told me that he was on a mission for Victoria, that she sent him to see how difficult it would be to get to me. She wanted revenge because James had been her mate, and she thought it was more fitting to take me; eye for an eye, mate for a mate. They didn't know that things weren't like that anymore. Laurent as just meant to see the lay of the land, so to speak, but when he found me he was too thirsty and he bit me. All of a sudden he stopped, and said "it can't be". Then he was gone.

"At the time I didn't know it was the wolves that scared him away, when it happened I'd actually thought that... that it was you. That you were back, just in time to save me. Wishful thinking, I guess... I woke up three days later, feeling very alone. I actually spent a long time looking for you. I went to every state and then I started to look abroad. First I went through South America, then across to Africa, then Australasia. After that I went up through Asia and Europe until I was back in New York.

"After about twenty years I stopped looking for you and tried to get on with my life. I'd chosen the vegetarian lifestyle from the start; you know what I was like with blood when I was human, so I had my bloodlust nailed after about seven years of being a vampire. So I could live with humans without them knowing and they would never suspect. I met other vampires, but never made any real friends... per say- I had a few flings, for the company... and sometimes I would have sex for money; I'm not proud of it but that's just what I had to do to get by and that's that.

"That was pretty much my life until last winter. I'd been in Ireland for a while, and when I decided it was time to move on again I just had to come home. I missed it too much. Living in one place required money - and I don't think the neighbours would be too pleased about me prostituting - so I got a real job at a diner. That's where I met Matt. He came in every morning for two months and we got to know each other pretty well. Well, I didn't tell him the truth - he's under the impression I ran away from abusive parents in Alaska. He offered me a place to stay and I took it, it just made life easier. That was in January, and life was pretty much ordinary for a while. He insisted that I go to high school, but we waited until the start of the new school year. So... that's pretty much it, I suppose."

I finished and looked up at the Cullens. Each and every one of them was leaning forward in thier seats, mouths open. I let out a snort of laughter which shocked them, only making their faces more amusing.

"S-sorry, guys, oyu just l-looked so _funny!"_ I eventually got out over my hysterics. A few of the Cullen's joined in with my laughter, the rest just smiled at me. Emmett leaned forward to catch my attention.

"So Bella... can I go on your bike now?"

**A/N Righ,t apoligies for the crappy ending, I couldn't think of another way to do it. So... reviews? Y'know I love 'em**

**I'm gunna try and put another one up tomorrow or sunday, but if I don't then I won't be able to update for a while becasue I'm going on holiday to Spain :)**

**good times**

**lots of love**

**Sasha :) xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/n yoooo homies :) i just got back last night, am very sunburnt and when i got home, what was waiting for me from amazon? breaking dawn, that's what. whoopdi doo :D i was up until like 5 am reading it, so now im sunburnt _and_ sleep deprived, so if this chapter makes absolutely no sense, you have my excuses. Enjoy...**

"Alice, you're not getting out of this." She was being difficult. How very Alice. She had been fine with watching her husband, brothers, sister and even parents ride my bike, but when I said the words "okay Alice, you're up" she fixed me with an icy glare and remaines sitting on the porch steps.

The rest of the family was at the entrance to the garage, waiting for us.

"Bellaaaaa" she moaned.

"Alice, what do you seriously expect to happen? Have you seen something you haven't told me about"

"_Noo_, but still! I'm going ot get on that thing and it'll fall over and Emmett will laugh and you'll all get a big kick out of it and I'll wreck my shoes."

"Have you actually seen that happening, or are you just guessing?" she gave me a whithering glare and I rolled my eyes.

"Alice, if you don't get on that bike in _five_ seconds, you will not be allowed to take me shopping ever again, for the rest of eternity" I threatened. Alice's golden eyes widened and she unwillingly stood up and lurched forward to my side.

"There we go, well done. Now, get on" I instructed simply. She frowned and mumbled something about wishing she was wearing a dress so she wouldn't have to do this.

"Yes you would Alice, I'd make you change" I said as I helped her hrough her leg over the seat onto the bike and get comfortable.

"Right I'm going ot start the engine for you, just keep your hands here and here" I took her hands and put them on the appropriate handles.

I held onto the back of the bike and kick started it for her. The engine roared to life with what sounded like a smoker's cough.

"Okay, now _gently_" I strained the word out, still holding onto the bike to keep it steady "ease up your grip on your right hand."

She did as I intructed, a little whimper escaping her lips as she did. The bike lurched forward and I kept pace with it.

We momved slowly but steadily towards the garage, where the rest of the Cullen's where all watching. Emmett whooped at us and shouted "take your time, Alice!", she growled slightly but other than that showed no sign of having heard him.

We moved at a seemigly snail pace towards the garage, but made it eventually. I tried not to show my slight annoyance at her pace; she was trying. But the fact that I knew all this was about her worry for her Jimmy choos didn't help my patience.

"Okay but it in neutral and jump off." Alice did as I instructed willingly and I wheeled my bike into the garage to protect it from the lightly falling rain.

I turned the engine off as soon as it was under cover. I could hear the family laughing and joking as they made their way back to the house. One of them waited. Edward's stone arms encircled my waist and pulled me to him. I turned to kiss him softly.

"So that was fun."

"I can't beleive you threatened Alice like that, she was actually thinking about killing you when you said it" he teased into my hair.

"I have no doubt she was, but that would get me out of shopping" I mused. He smiled my favourite smile.

"So..."

"So...?"

"By my reckoning, you have about half an hour free before Alice drags you out shopping."

"Do I, indeed? Well what are we to do with half an hour...?"

"I can think of a few things." He leaned into kiss me again, but then pulled away and shook his head.

"What?"

"Turns out I over estimated. Alice wants to leave now."

"Ugh, do I have to go? I want to stay here with you." He smiled again.

"Well, we wouldn't be staying here for a start... I'm pretty sure my family would not appreciate that, nor their cars... and the sooner you go the sooner you get back."

"He's right Bella, about bothe things. So lets go." I looked around him to see Alice and Rosalie entering the garage and heading towards Alice's porche. I rolled my eyes and pecked him on the cheek before clamberign into the back seat to face my part of the deal.

**A/N right I know it's short, and probably not gramatically correct in a lot of places, but as i said i'm like dead on my feet here.**

**Right, this story is pretty much winding up now, next chapter will probably me the last. I'm gunna try to get some new stuff up soon, but i'm going on holiday again with my friends (sorry, please don't crusify me) so i might have another delay.**

**reviews please :)**

**lots of love**

**Sasha :) xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**_A/N_ I'm gunna hae to apoligise. Things have been crazy lately and I haven't had the chance to update, my bad. But I've got my next story pretty much down, so I can update better with that one :) good times, no?**

"Matt! Are you ready yet?"

"Hang on... Bella have you seen my blue tie?" I rolled my eyes as I fiddled with the hem of my white cardigan, which I was wearing over a floaty aquamarine dress. Floaty - not my usual style, as you could probably guess, Alice chose it. Typical. My hair was straight, though I'd added a bit of a wave to it. Alice had recently admitted, my power was better than any hair styling tool she'd ever come across. There was a knock at my door. I saw it open and Matt's head poke through in the mirror's reflection. He grinned.

"You look lovely, Bells."

"Thanks, it was all Alice, of course. Are you ready?" He opened the door fully and did a little spin so I could see the fine cut of his suit.

"Well, don't you look handsome... Alice?"

"Yep. That girl has a serious career ahead of her in fashion." I smiled, aware that there would never be a career for Alice - the fact that she didn't age made it hard.

"So are you ready?" I turned from the mirror to look at him nervously as he waited for a response.

"No?" He laughed softly.

"Bella, calm down. Lots of people have done this before you, lot's of people will do it after you. It's no big deal. C'mon, let's go." I took a deep breath to calm myself before nodding my head and walking towards him. He held out his arm for me and I took it. We walked out of the apartment and down the stairs. Once we got outside I looked up anxiously at the clouds, begging them to stay. Begging them to give me this one perfect day.

We climbed into the rundown Chevy, and Matt turned the key in the ignition.

"You sure you've got everything you need?" he asked. I held up th eplastic carrier bag in my hand as proof and he nodded. As we drove throughthe cloud covered streets of Forks, I tunred on the radio, Matt hummed along. I smiled at him.

"So, what are you doing afterwards?"

"Um, going out for dinner with Edward. You?"

"Peter and I were planning to catch a movie. I was going to offer t ostay home with you, seeing as this is kind of a special occasion."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, Matt. You should go out, have a nice evening." We pulled up in front of the school - I would've got us here a lot quicker if I'd been driving. I made to open my door to get out but he put up a hand to stop me.

"What is it?"

"I know you won't like this, but I couldn't not get you something. Look in the glove compartment." I frowned - did nobody understand the no gifts rule? - and reached for the glove compartment. I popped it open and looked inside. There was a square, almost flat navy blue gift box inside, with a silver bow on top.

"Aww, Matt, you didn't-"

"Just open it before you complain." I sighed, decding it was best to humour him. I lifted the box into my hands and slid the bow off it before gently lifting the lid away.

"Oh Matt, it's beautiful!" Inside the box, lying on a black velvet cover was a silver locket on a chain. The pendant was a soft, ill defined heart shape, almost circular so it didn't appear tacy. The cover was embossed with delicate flower carvings, hinting towards an art nouveau styling.

"Open it," he instructed simply. I did as he instructed and my breath caught. The tiny picture in the frame wasa scaled down version of the one in our living room. It depicts the two of us smiling broadly. My arms are wrapped around his neck as he sits in the driver's seat of his Chevy, I am in the back. His shoulder's are slightly raised, he is holding the camera to take the picture.

"Oh, Matt. Thank you so much. It's wonderful."

"Your welcome, kid. I just wanted to give you something tremember me by, I know you won't stay with me forever." I was instantly sad at his words. He was right, I would have to leave.

"But I'll visit, all the time. As often as I can. And you've got Peter - he'll look after you," I smiled a private smile, I was the only one - besides Alice - that knew Peter was planning to propose soon. Truthfully, I couldn't imagne Matt settling down, but Alice assured me everything would work out. I closed the locket and lifted it from the box.

"Help me put it on?" He rolled his eyes with a smile and took it from me. Matt undid the clasp and slipped it around my neck as I held back my hair.

"There we go, it fits," he joked. I saw the pain in his eyes and I put my hand on his face, he didn't flinch or wonder at the chill though it was the middle of the summer.

"Everything is going to be fine, Matt. I'm not leaving for awhile still, you can breath." He smiled half-heartedly.

"Okay, I just hope you know I love you Bella, you may by my fake sister but I really love you." Tears glistened in his eyes.

"I love you too Matt. You're the best brother in the world." I leant forward and hugged him,he shivered a bit.

"Okay, come on. Time for _somebody_ to graduate," he said, his usual cheeky smile back in place. I tried to return it with my own as he opened his door to get out.

Edward and his family met us at the entrance to the gym, the only room big enough for graduation to take place in. I ran to his arms and kissed him in a way that was exceptable for school property.

"Morning, everyone," I greeted cheerfully, noticing that the five graduating Cullens were all in there caps and gowns already.

"Good morning Bella, and you must be Mattias," greeted Carlisle, holding out a hand to Matt.

"Please, call me Matt. It's great to finally meet you Dr Cullen, Mrs Cullen."

"Please, call us Esme and Carlisle," said Esme warly, taking Matt's hand once Carlisle had released it.

"Okay, now the formalities are over, Bella put your things on or we won't be graduating," said Alice, dancing to my side and pulling the carrier bag from me. I rolled my eyes.

"We'll see you in there, I guess," I said, waving goodbye to my surrogate brother and parents. We all made our way inside, where we then were put into alphatbetical order. Since I was regesterd under Corelli rather than Swan, I was just one person away from Alice - the person between between us being called Mildred Crumpleton. Behind Alice was Edward, who would smile crookedly at me whenever I caught his eye, followed by Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie.

We paraded into the gymnasium to the sound of applause, and I waved to Matt with Carlisle and Esme. The valedictorian made his speech, and I half listened, entertaining myself by making freckles on my forearm. Eventually we all rose and began to make our way onto the stage to recieve our diplomas. Atleast I didn't have to worry about falling my face.

"Ulrika Burtrude," called the principal as she handed Kyle Bath his diploma. I was after Ulrika, and I took a deep breath, to prepare myself.

"Isabella Corelli," I stood, giving myslf a fake blush as I heard Matt clapping extra loud in the crowd. I walked up the few short steps and traversed the stage easily, taking my diploma from the principal with a smile and shaking her hand when she offered it.

It was over. After Nearly seventy years, I had graduated from High School. I took my seat again and watched the parade of vampires and teenagers cross the stage. I cheered when the Cullen's collected there diploma. Edward shot me a quick wink when he shook the principal's hand.

Once everyone was once again seated, the principal handed out special awards for special achievment within the school. ALice shot me a cheeky glance and I frowned, she knew something I didn't. I was about to whisper around Mildred to ask her about it when I heard my name being called.

"And to Isabella Corelli, we give this award for supreme achievments in track events." I started, completely shocked - the special awards were always a surprise. I slowly got out fo the chari and ade my way on stage, astounded.

Prinsipal Stratt shook my hand again and placed the small medal around my neck. I smiled in awe and thanked her, making my wy back to my seat.

"Thanks for the warning, guys," I whispered as I walked past the Cullen's, they all smiled innocently at me.

The principal made her final speech, congratulating us on graduating and proclaiming us as adults. We all through our hats into the air with a cheer and a round of applause from the audiance.

Edward was at my side, wrapping his arms around me.

"Congratulations, love,"

"Congratulations to you too," I grinned. He smirked, and I remembered that it wasn't as big as a deal for him as it was for me. He'd only done this about twenty times before, after all.

He gently stroked the locket on my neck. "It's beautiful, Alice told me it would be when she first saw him getting it for you." I smiled and looked over to where Matt, Esme and Carlisle were now weaving their way through the crowd towards us.

"Are you going to miss him, Bella?"

"Yes... but it'll be fine. When I do have to leave, I'll be with you. And that's all I'v eever wanted from day one." He smiled my favourite, breath-taking crooked smile and I almost swooned in his arms.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too, Edward." He smiled again and leant down to kiss me, enveloping us in our own little bubble. The bubble which we stayed in until our family - both mine and his - finally dragged us away for the party Alice was throwing. Typical.

But Edward would be there... and that made my outlook preceptively brighter. And when I realised that he would always be there for me, for all eternity, my outlook was as bright as the dessert sun at noon, or the sparkles that would come fo his skin under that sun.

I lost myself in the fantasy of that dessert. I imagined us there, and we could go there. Soon, maybe tomorrow, or next week. But then again, there was no rush, we didn't have to go for a century.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N finito :) sorry if there is loadsa speeling mistakes in this, my spellcheck is being gay :)**

**and i forgot to put this on the end of the last chapter, i'm stupid evidently. **

**will now go work on next story **

**reviews? **

**laters xx**

**lots of love**

**Sasha xx**


End file.
